Try not to Fuck up The future, Warning: Future gets fucked
by Yojimbra
Summary: (working title). Naruto finds him self falling towards the earth and ends up splashing down in front of a very beautiful and pissed off woman that claims that she is Uchiha Madara. Naruto x Fem Madara. Time Travel... probably. Probably Yandere Madara.
1. First Encounter: Yandara!

There had to be a very good reason why he was currently plummeting towards the ground. Or at least there better be, but for the life of him, he couldn't place exactly what happened one moment he was just walking along with Sakura, and then bam, free fall. Maybe he said something stupid and Sakura hit him really far?

If so then she must have gotten a new record, as this was the most airtime he's gotten. And he was still falling.

But that couldn't be it, his face didn't hurt. And Sakura hadn't hit him in like a month. Ino said it was proof that he could learn.

A forest, cut by rivers and punctured by rocks, spread out before him, touching every horizon. If Sakura had suddenly sent him painlessly flying into the air, he would have seen Konoha somewhere nearby, even if it was called the village hidden in the leaves, this was just stupid.

Maybe this was an illusion or something?

He found the answer when he came into contact with a branch that smacked him in the face and gave him a mouthful of foliage. It hurt, that meant that he actually was falling.

"Oh shit!" He pulled his head in, bouncing off branches that snapped and crashing through the forest canopy. The world went black a few times on the way down. Water crashed around him, hurting just as much as the branches on the way down, he was submerged in a heartbeat. Probably with a broken arm. And ribs. And face.

Nothing he couldn't walk away from. Sure the landing always sucked, but it was rarely worse than the takeoff. Except maybe this time.

He bounced off the rocky bottom of whatever body of water he had been fortunate enough to land in, well there went his foot, that was probably broken too. Still, he'd live. He still had to become Hokage after all!

With his good foot on the ground he aimed upwards towards the surface where the sun shined through the clear water, he could see the slope of the rock covered shore, and feel the flow of the water, looked like a river. The water broke around him as he bobbed up and down in the water, no real need to use his chakra yet, besides he was already wet, he couldn't get wetter.

A foot, - not his, it was far too slender and girly - stepped in front of his face, it's counterpart resting just behind it. He followed them up, which was probably a mistake given how he tended to have horrendous luck. A woman, a naked one save for a single piece of cloth that covered some of her, stood in front of him. The first thing he noticed - besides; her long legs, nice hips, slender legs, modest bust, long black hair - was the viscous scowl on her otherwise beautiful face.

That and the sword she was currently pointing at him.

"Do you have a death wish?" She asked, her eyes dark like two lumps of coal boring down into his very soul to see what kind of a person he was. And she was very not impressed. "The only reason why you're not dead is that I will know who would dare attack me. Now speak worm."

The edge of the sword moved towards his neck, great he just had to appear in front of some crazy chick with a sword. Why couldn't it be some nice girl with a bowl of ramen? Or just nobody? Nobody would have been great! "Umm, would you like to get dressed or something?"

"Why?" She sneered, tilting the sword up against his neck. It was sharp, really sharp. "So that you can strike while I have my back turned? I will fight and defeat you naked if I must."

"No, it's just that I have a hard - wait that's probably not the right word - it's difficult to talk to a beautiful girl when she's naked." Mostly because he didn't want to make her even more mad by looking at places he wasn't supposed to. Which he was doing a lot of.

"Beau-beau-beautiful?" she gasped eyes wide and a frown replacing her scowl for just a moment. "Do not think flattery will get you out of this. Now speak who are you? Some Senju assassin? I did not think Hashirama would stoop so low."

His eyes drifted towards her waist, there was a lot of definition there, she was definitely more than just bark. The sword at his throat was telling him that her bite might actually kill him.

"Keep your eyes on mine."

"Yes, Ma'am!" He squeaked, trying to stay focused on her eyes. It was kind of easy because she was, how would Jiraiya put it again? Easy on the eyes? "I'm Naruto Uzumaki, and I wasn't trying to do anything! I don't even know where I am!"

"An Uzumaki?" She glared at him, sliding the sword upward toward his chin. "So you are aligned with the Senju then!"

"What? No, I'm not! I swear! I don't even know what a Senju is!" It did sound familiar. "Look, I'm a ninja from Konoha; See?" He tapped at his forehead protector, wincing as he heard his arm pop at the motion. That might take a bit longer to heal. "Can we please, talk about this with you being dressed, a sword not pointed at my neck, and a fish not eating my toes?"

She snorted, "I know not of this Konoha you speak of, and that the Uzumaki are the allies of my enemy."

"I'm not your enemy I swear! I'm just a ninja!" He'd deal with the whole not knowing what Konoha was later. "Look, there has to be some way for me to prove this is all just a misunderstanding!"

She lowered the sword just a hair so that the blade no longer touched his skin. "Stand, slowly."

He did so, her blade following him on the way up. Yep, his foot was probably broken, his arm definitely was, dammit, and he just had Sakura fix it recently! Hey wait, a second, his arm, it didn't feel like it normally did. His old arm was back. Okay, this was weird. Almost as weird as getting interrogated by a hot naked lady with a sword. "You sure you don't want to get dressed first?"

"Do not speak unless to answer my questions."

She walked around him, the water didn't even respond to her steps, while he made ripples just by standing there. It was one thing to see her standing still, but in motion, her beauty was all the more stunning, every movement was measured, careful, focused, like a predator stalking its prey.

"You favor your left leg. Why?"

Holy crap, she was one of those people that could tell his whole life story just by the way he blew his nose. He hated those people, mostly because it always felt like they knew what he was going to say next, which was so unfair because he didn't even know what he was going to say next. Hopefully, she didn't notice that he thought she had a nice ass.

When she passed in front of him, their eyes met. She knew.

"Well, I kind of fell from really high up, I think my foot or my leg is broken." He shrugged, there was really no point in lying, and if he could talk his way out of a fight, that was good. Just meant that he was going to be an awesome Hokage.

She looked him up and down. "Any other injuries?"

"Broken rib probably? And probably a broken arm. I hit my head too, so I might be stupider than usual." He smiled at that joke.

She did not. "I see, your entrance and injuries do line up with your story. You appear to be resilient, and you're not young, either you're lucky or a capable ninja, which is it?"

"Both I guess." Seriously there was a ninja that didn't know who he was? Wait, was she even a ninja? Where was he even? Maybe Sakura hit him hard enough to send him flying long enough to recover and then end up far enough that people didn't know who he was? That seemed likely. "Are you a ninja?"

"Yes," A smile curved onto her face as that word slipped out. She continued to walk around him, her eyes not once leaving his person. "Very well, Naruto, I will take you back to my village, there you will pledge your allegiance to the Uchiha clan and fight for us."

"Wait!" He turned to look at her and got a sword pointed right at his neck, this time he was a lot less careful about it. Other Uchiha? That weren't part of Konoha? He couldn't believe it! Sasuke was going to lose his mind! "Uchiha? There are other Uchiha? Do you know Sasuke? Or Konoha?"

"You know of the Uchiha but you do not know of the Senju or Uzumaki? How and why?" Her face remained cool, and that smile vanished. Replaced by that tireless scowl that he had seen Sasuke wear before, her blackened eyes now the familiar red of the sharingan.

Well she wasn't lying about being an Uchiha. "I'm from Konoha, my friend Sasuke is an Uchiha there, but his whole clan got killed by his brother years ago. Same with the Uzumaki, they got wiped out during the second ninja war."

Or maybe the third? Iruka's history lessons were still kind of out there.

"You are either a very good liar, or you are telling the truth," She didn't back down. "There has been no, second ninja war, let along a first one, the Uzumaki hide on their island, and I am reluctant to say a strong clan. I get the feeling it'd be simpler just to kill you."

"Then why don't you?" Not that she could, well probably, but he wouldn't make things easy for her. He could already feel Kurama working at his important bits.

She smiled again, her Sharingan deactivating dropping the sword and walking towards the shore. "I find you attractive enough not to kill, nothing more nothing less. But you will still come back to my village. There you will tell me more about this Konoha and I will debate what exactly to do with you."

"Wait you think I'm cute?" That was new. Well kind of. Sure there were a lot of girls back in Konoha. But there was something about this woman. Maybe he just had a thing for women that terrified him?

Once she reached the shore she began to dress, giving him more than a little peek of her. But he kept getting drawn to that know it all smile she kept flashing at him. "If that's how you wish to put it. But be careful, if you annoy me too much it won't matter how" She pursed her lips as though to taste the word. "Cute, you are."

Her clothing was dark and simply save for the Uchiha symbol painted onto the back of her shirt. Somehow the few pieces of clothing managed to hide all but the most telling traces that she was a woman. And she almost looked familiar. But that might just be that whole Uchiha thing she had.

"Can I get your name?" He half limped to the shore, testing his foot with every other step. Yep, that was going to suck for a while. Broken bones sucked more than getting stabbed.

"It has been a while since one has asked for my name." She fanned her long waist length hair free from her top, allowing it to spread out like a raven's tail feathers. "Very well Naruto Uzumaki, my name is Madara Uchiha, head of the Uchiha Clan."

"Wait? You're a girl?" Yes, that was what his brain decided was the most important thing to say at that point.

She looked at him, this woman claiming to be Madara Uchiha that thought he was cute, looked at him with an amused look and a wry smile on her face. "I certainly hope so, you've been staring at my ass for the past five minutes."

 **AN: The result of me staying up until four AM again. Apparently I turn Uchiha into girls. Anyways! I hope you all look forward to this one! It's fun to write so far.**


	2. This Chapter is an Innuendo

"So, why exactly where you naked in the river?"

"I'm an exhibitionist and bathing naked excites me."

That stopped him in his tracks - well they were mostly her tracks in that he was following her - his brain trying to override his built-in obliviousness. It didn't help that when she said that she turned back to give him a smile so wry he developed childhood trauma from it. The smile was also hot, trauma and a fetish all in one sexy bag, that sounded completely healthy.

The forest that he found himself in was pretty much exactly like any other forest he'd ever been in: Trees, everywhere, some even grew from the corpses of dead trees. They weren't as big as the trees that were around Konoha, but they were close, and this was all just a distraction to keep his mind off of the fact that Madara Uchiha, was a girl.

Not just any girl, a hot one. A hot girl that found him cute. And wasn't trying to murder him. Nor did she seem crazy - well she did, but not the whole taking over the world crazy thing he remembered - maybe she was just his mother or something? Maybe his daughter? "So you're sure you're Madara?"

"Asking that question again will only accomplish in annoying me," her voice carried an edge sharper than the sword at her hip. "And I tend to, remove, things that annoy me."

"But I'm cute enough to not be removed. Right?" He didn't want to fight Madara again, that wasn't fun. Though things might go a bit differently without the whole sage steroid thing going on.

She spun on him, that sword drawn so that the flat of the blade rested against his chest, she really liked to get up close and personal. She smelled like the river. Her face hovered inches away from his, close enough that she could bite him with the slightest movement. "Cute, yes, but you can live without your tongue." Her smirk appeared once again, and the sword sheathed itself. "Be glad that I have use for your tongue."

"Right, I need to tell you about Konoha," He gave a nervous laugh as she continued to walk forward.

Another chuckle that sent a ripple down his spine like it was a tranquil pond. "Oh yes, that as well."

Wait. What? He scrambled forward nearly losing his footing on a root slick with moss. "What else can I do with my tongue?"

She laughed, her hips swaying just that extra bit more as she rounded a corner along the path. "You'll have to find out. Tonight if you're lucky."

He spent the next five minutes failing to figure out what she meant, much to her amusement.

The forest came to an abrupt end and a village sprouted up out of the earth, only a band of rocky and charred earth separated the two worlds. This was the Uchiha village, the clan symbol he had chased after for much of his childhood was stretched between two logs stuck into the earth, marking the entrance to the village, behind it towered a wall made out of vertical logs that spanned as much of the village as they could.

It was impressive for a single clan but still smaller than he expected. And less dark and broody, less fires too.

"Welcome to my village, Naruto." Madara held her arms out for a moment, head held back in pride. "It's not as big as some of the larger clans like your Uzumaki or the Senju, but one of our ninja is worth five of theirs."

Because the Sharingan was cheating. But maybe there was a ramen stand or someplace to eat in there. He was kind of hungry, and he didn't have to think so much when he was eating. His brain was still trying to wrap around the fact that Madara Uchiha was a girl with a really really really nice ass. And great legs.

"It, uh, looks great."

"You have only seen the entrance and the gates, if this impresses you then perhaps your Konoha isn't worth hearing about." Her gaze snapped to his just long enough to flash a smile at him. "Now, stay close, and do try to ignore the look my clansmen give you."

"Are outsiders rare or something?" He asked following after her, eyes focused on the sway of her hips and the way her robes kind of hugged her butt. It was odd, he didn't remember being so into butts before, maybe hers was that good. No really, why was the hottest girl he's ever seen Madara Uchiha.

Who was supposed to be a man!

"Not exactly, but people won't ask questions if you're near me, also stop staring at my ass." How the hell did she know? She wasn't even looking at him!

"What happened to being an exhibitionist?"

"You truly have a death wish don't you?"

"No, I'm just stupid and my mouth moves on its own."

"Your honesty is admirable, your idiocy not so much, now silence your tongue."

The inside of the village was somehow less impressive, most of it looked like those super old buildings in Konoha that didn't get rebuilt, kind of like the Hyuuga place, or Shikamaru's home, kind of like a shrine or temple. With paper walls and tatami mats, it was all kind of, what was the word again? Traditional?

Most of the people, well they looked like they were related to Sasuke, and not just look wise, they all had that same grumpy scowl on their face Sasuke was probably wearing right now. Well maybe not right now, he was still in the future. How did he even end up here? And why was Madara a girl?

While dark hair like Madara's was the norm there were a few more vibrant colors, purples, blues, and even a few deep reds. They were all dressed in simple robes, with the clan symbol on the back, some even wore that cool looking armor that Madara and the first Hokage wore. A tall angry looking man - angry even by Uchiha standards - walked up to them, with a sword on his hip and long black howl, and those hateful eyes, he looked more like Madara than Madara did.

"Lady Madara," his voice a black storm seething on the horizon, ready to swallow up any who would challenge it. His bow was curt, straddling the lines of mockery. "It is good to see you are well." The Uchiha's eyes flickered to him, he eyed him up and down and grunted. "And it appears as though you've brought a stray dog home."

With a hand on her hip Madara turned back to face him, she rolled her eyes and smiled. "Naruto, this is Sanosuke. He's a strong shinobi but a pig-headed bastard that thinks that he should lead our clan because there is no way that a woman could do such a job."

Sanosuke snorted, shrugging his arms, his frown only growing. "You only lead because-"

"Because you can't best me." Madara interrupted turning to face Sanosuke, "And until you do, I will continue to deny you."

A growl escaped him and his lip curled into a snarl as he directed his anger towards Naruto. "And what business could our clan have with a weakling such as this?"

Weakling? "Hey, I'm not-"

The back of her hand against his chest silenced him. "He has information that could benefit our clan far more than you ever could, now hold your tongue before I put you back in your place." She turned away from him, eyes scanning the crowd. "Do you all have the luxury to stand to and gawk at me?"

Only Sanosuke remained standing.

Madara sighed. "What else Sanosuke?"

"We need to talk about your agreement to meet with the Senju, it's a trap." The man continued to glare at him. This guy was worse than Sasuke ever was. "And if it is not then they are fools and we should crush them."

"Hashirama maybe a peaceful fool but he is an honest one, besides, I want to know what the peaceful fool has to say. You are welcome to remain here and watch over the crops. It would be no problem in finding another escort," she paused, her face void of all emotion, she looked tired, and finally managed a smile. "Of your caliber, I'm certain even Naruto here could fill that role despite the fact that he. Is. No. Uchiha." She let each word drip like a venomous honey.

With a huff Sanosuke left them, stomping off towards further into the village.

"So, uh, you didn't mention you were the leader of the clan," Naruto said trying to change the subject, he didn't exactly do well in situations that were about to break into a fight. He was great at the everybody happy, or everybody fighting atmospheres.

Her smile came back, "Oh, did I not say that this was my village?" She leaned in close one hand on her hip, the other resting on her sword. She was way too fond of that thing. "Or did you just assume that I could not be the leader because I am female?"

"No?" He leaned back, hands putting up a meager defense. Did she not know what personal space meant? "What I mean is that we had a female Hokage before? She was super strong! And I know a lot of other strong girls, like Sakura? And umm, oh! The Mizukage is also a girl!"

"It sounds as though you're asking me the questions," She spun on her heel, hair nearly smacking him in the face, "Hokage? Mizukage? These are leadership titles?"

"Yep, granny was super strong, and I heard that if I didn't want to become the next Hokage than Sakura would probably be asked." It kind of hurt that it came from Shikamaru saying that Sakura would make a better Hokage than him, but he had more than a few points. "It normally goes to the strongest ninja."

She laughed, a cruel mocking sound that was still filled with joy. "The more I hear about this Konoha of yours the more I am beginning to like it. Now come, my home is not far I am hungry."

 **AN: I'm enjoying writing this Madara. She's a troll and I love her.**

 **Also, how the hell did this get 100 reviews and 500+ followers in one week? Ya'll spoiling me! Thank you all for the support and I hope I can keep up with the hype.**

Special thanks to Fan of Fluff for his donation to my Ko-fi, it really does man a lot.


	3. And Then They Fucked

Madara's home was smaller than he thought, and it didn't have a future-super-evil-bad-guy-that-wanted-to-take-over-the-world vibe he expected it to. If anything it was just kind of plain, save for the collections of swords, kunai, scrolls, and ninja weapons that were displayed - some proudly in proper racks, others were just kind of left nearby - and the giant Uchiha flags that flanked either side of Madara's seat.

She sat on a large pile of multi-colored pillows, looking every bit the warlord. But, that wasn't at all the person he had been seeing, instead, he saw a beautiful woman with tired eyes and a smile that was filled with a twisted sense of humor. A bowl half full of the same gruel-stew-slop (actually it was awful and she should never be allowed to cook again) rested on her knee as she digested his words carefully. Is this what it felt like to have someone listen to him? No wonder Iruka-sensei always wanted him to listen.

"So, uhh that's pretty much everything." He scratched his head, a bowl of the somehow still warm stew stuff was clasped in his other hand. It was a refill, Madara was with her cooking as she was with all things; prideful. Despite the protests of his mouth his stomach had no complaints about the substance, Sakura was a better cook.

Hell, he was a better cook.

Still given the lack of instant ramen, grocery store, ramen stand, or anything really, this was probably the best he was going to get any time soon. That and he didn't want to piss Madara off.

"I see, so if I understand this correctly, you bested me while I had the combined might of all the tailed beasts, as well as a creepy Hashirama, face in my chest adding his considerable strength on top of my own all of which I did was to force the world into an endless dream where they'd be happy all for the name of peace. But, I was betrayed by some kind of shadow man that proceeded to summon some kind of chakra goddess that wanted to eat everything." She ran her finger along the rim of her bowl, staring at the liquid. Even she wasn't immune to the taste of her own cooking with the way she shivered after another mouth full of the gunk.

He nodded. "Well, I had help. Sasuke was there, Sakura, and Kakashi-sensei too!"

"And do you still hold this power?" her smile was the flash of a dagger, but much more dangerous. She licked a bit of stew that clung to the top of her lip her eyes not once leaving his.

"Well, I don't have all the tailed beasts inside me, but Kurama's still here," he shrugged. "And I can still do sage mode and awesome stuff like that."

"Ha!" She tossed her bowl to her right, sending it into the kitchen sink without breaking it. Both of her hands gripped her knees and she rocked on her cushion. "Cute, Strong, Honest, Resourceful, you have many," she paused wiping her mouth one last time, his body burned under her gaze of fire. "Desirable traits Naruto. Did you not think that telling me of the future would be a bad idea?"

"No?" He asked scratching his head, trying really hard to not to look at Madara. At least this time she didn't have her sword out. "I mean it was the best way to get you to believe that I wasn't trying to kill you or anything right? And hey, you're the one believing that I'm from the future."

Another laugh, this one overflowing with mirth. She rested the back of her hand against her forehead, pushing against some of the more defiant wild raven colored hair. It died down quickly enough. "Indeed, either you are too honest, or I am two trusting. Perhaps both." She stood, her black eyes like charcoal ready to combust to life once more bore into him. "But, I am no fool Naruto, and you are no liar."

Madara sat down next to him, leaning in close. One hand on his leg, the other pulling on his jacket. "While there is much of your story that is lacking, and much more that seems impossible, there are traces of truth to be found elsewhere."

He felt so powerless to stop her as she unzipped his jacket, letting it fall to the floor behind him. "What are you doing?"

"Exploring," she answered, her eyes looking at his stomach, around where the seal would be. He could feel her hand grazing his stomach without touching him. A twitch escaped him, making him groan. "Ahh, there you are, Kurama was it? Yes, that is indeed the nine tailed fox. Time has tempered his rage, and strengthened his spirit."

"He says that if you try to control him again he will kill you." It was easy to ignore Kurama, mostly because he was like a giant cat and normally slept most of the day away.

"Does that apply to the Nine-Tailed beast that roams my time or just him?" She chuckled pulling away and turned her attention to his jacket. "Not that it matters, I am beginning to see the merits of this peace that fool Hashirama speaks of, especially if your Konoha is the result." She pulled out his wallet, thumbing open his ninja I.D. "Your truth about the nine-tailed fox, the honesty in your voice, this photo, and the material of your clothing, your armor, are all the evidence I need to believe you."

"Oh, good. So you're not going to try and kill me?"

"You used the word try that time?" The edge in her voice was hard to miss, mostly because she whispered it into his ear. One of his kunai was in her hand, resting just above his heart like a snake basking in the sun. "But yes, I have no intent to kill you, provided you stay on my good side."

"How do I do that?" And why did she keep holding onto weapons?

She spun the kunai in her fingers and gave it back to him. Her smile faded when she stood, her hands flat against her back. "A question with no answer. But you are off to a good start. Continue to treat me as a woman and as an equal and I won't 'try' to kill you." She smirked taking her seat once more, "Oh and help me of course."

"With what?" He put on his jacket once more. Probably not a good idea to tell her that her cooking was bad any time soon. And what did that even mean? He was just treating her the same as he would any cute girl that was at least mildly violent - which growing up was most of them.

"Your history, my future, leaves much to be desired." That knowing smirk appeared once more, he could see the ambitions growing in her eyes. "First, instead of that fool Hashirama, I shall become this Hokage you speak of, then I shall find and kill this Shadow Man for daring to think that he could use and betray me. From there we shall see."

"Wait, you want to be the Hokage now?" He stood pointing a finger at her. "I want to be the Hokage, I was going to be the seventh Hokage!"

"And I will be the first!" She stood with him, hand on her hip. "Instead of the seventh, you could become the second, or perhaps I will find some other use, for you." Her hand slid along his chainmail shirt, sending a wave of excitement through his body. Once more she was close to him, her body coiling around him like a python a mere thought away from a lethal strike. "I'm sure I can find many, many, uses for you."

It was impossible to face her, her brilliance shined like the early morning sun blinding him from his goals and forcing the weariness from his body. "I'll help you kill, Zetsu, but I won't help you become Hokage?"

"Oh?" She purred, her breath hot on his ears. She pushed him away with a laugh and a smile. "Very well Naruto, just know that those who compete with me tend to have their ambitions cut short. Now then, allow me to show you to my spare room, you will be staying with me for the time being."

"That is if you can stomach my horrible food."

How the hell did she know?

"You wear your emotions on your sleeve."

Damn mind reading Uchiha.

XXXX

Being in the past sucked for many reasons. One was that there was no running water, another no electricity, he didn't have any of his friends, he didn't even have his own home, but by far the worst part was that there was no ramen! Sure Madara had heard of it, but no ramen stand in the Uchiha village. And the whole no instant ramen thing was a serious bummer.

It was those thoughts that were preventing were chasing away sleep. The comfort of Madara's spare bed had long since vanished. It didn't help that he had gone to bed so early, but there was nothing else to do! How did people entertain themselves in the past? Training probably. Maybe that was how the First Hokage and Madara got so strong? Training to not be bored?

Maybe they read? Nah, it had to be the training thing. But he couldn't do that now, mostly because Madara was asleep. And he was in a village that was literally crawling with angry Sasukes. Why was Madara a girl anyways? Had she always been a girl? Does she turn into a grumpy dude?

Sure the hair was the same, and if he kind of thought about it they had the same face, but they were completely different people! Especially personality wise. This Madara laughed, and sure she was mostly laughing at him, but it was still kind of a cute laugh. No really why the hell was Madara Uchiha a girl! A hot one too!

At least he wasn't thinking about ramen anymore.

Crap.

With a sigh he flopped his arms and stared up at the dark ceiling. He used to be so good at sleeping when he was bored, now he couldn't sleep because he was bored. Growing up sucked.

His door slid open, flooding the room with moonlight, Madara's silhouette stood in the entranceway, her shadow swallowing him whole. And her eyes glowing with the soft red of the Sharingan.

He strained his neck to look at her more directly. "Madara?"

"Ahh, you're awake, that's good." She strode into his room, and closed the door behind her, covering her in a shroud of darkness. He could feel her every step on the tatami mats that made up his floor and could see the sway of her hips even as darkness clung to her every motion.

"Why are you-" He followed her hand as she pulled her sache loose. But it was the sound of her robe falling brought a clarity to his darkened vision. She was naked in front of him, modest breasts sat high on her chest, her stomach was toned, and long, stretching downwards before it flared out into her hips. Then there were her legs, long, wonderful pillars of feminine power. "What are-"

She kneeled down next to him, placing a finger on his lips as she tossed his blanket to the side. "It should be obvious Naruto, we are going to have sex."

Somehow the hardest boner he ever had just got twice as hard.

"Sex?" He asked, grabbing onto her arm. Why was he stopping this? Was he stupid? Well yes, but at the same time sex. With a hot girl that might be only slightly evil. "Shouldn't we be dating or something first? Or like in love or something?"

"Love?" She snorted into a chuckle, even as she proceeded to pull his boxers off. His shirt was quick to follow. With one leg on either side of him a hand on his chest to keep him pinned she angled him for entry. "Love has nothing to do with it. I find you attractive, you find me attractive. That is all there is to it."

Her kiss spread like a wildfire through his mind, burning away any resistance and leaving his mouth tasting of blood.


	4. Let's be honest, she might be crazy

Having sex with Madara was a lot more fun than fighting her, but also a lot harder in so many ways of the word. Apparently being power hungry spread to being sex hungry, she was insatiable. No matter how many times he defeated her, no matter how many different ways, she was always, always, back up for more and dragging him along for the ride.

Despite his lack of sleep, moderate to severe dehydration, the fact that his back felt like he cuddled with a cheese grater, and that his bed was fused to his body via blood, he felt pretty alright. Not great, but at the same time, the sex was fantastic.

He had sex with Madara Uchiha. Madara Uchiha was someone he really wanted to have sex with. Those were the thoughts that occupied his mind as he stared up at the ceiling, slowly letting the fact that he had sex with a smoking hot Madara that was a smoking hot girl with kisses that still made his lips tremble and forced him to find just enough energy to be aroused again.

If he wasn't so sure he hadn't gotten much if any sleep last night he would have considered this whole thing a dream. But the pain on his back and the pulsing headache was all the evidence to the contrary he needed. That and he could still feel where Madara had traced her fingers along his chest as she stared at him like a meal to be eaten.

The blanket had been cast over her so that generous amount of hip cleavage could be seen, her legs entwined with his and her chest was exposed - how had he mistaken her for a man before? - it seemed so impossible. The smugness and self-satisfaction that radiated off of her made him want to punch and kiss her all over again.

But she was gone now, the sway of her hips burned into the earlier morning sunlight that was quickly turning into midday. Even before meeting Jiraiya he had a healthy appreciation of the female body as a whole, boobs, tummies, butts, legs, all of it was wonderful, but after seeing Madara's ass and having those legs wrapped around him in so many different ways, he was starting to favor the lower parts of the body just the slightest bit.

With a grunt and far more pops and snaps than normal, he got up from his bed, feeling more than one scab break away the wound already healed. His whole body felt stiff and drained. But at the same time, he felt full of a different kind of energy, one that made it easy to put his feet under him and go looking for that most dangerous of women.

A dark blue robe with folded so that the Uchiha symbol was presented barred his exit, a still steaming cup and a few simple looking biscuits sat on their own plate nearby. Breakfast, reward, or bait? It didn't matter, he was too hungry not to eat it. The bread was hard and filled with a sweet jelly, and the tea was so bitter it felt like a punch to the face. The smell alone was enough to wake him up even more.

The clothes he arrived in were long nowhere to be seen, so unless he wanted to walk around naked he'd have to put on the Uchiha robe. The act almost hurt his soul, like she was putting a collar on him. Well jokes on her! Naruto Uzumaki was his own man!

A man that wasn't quite comfortable with walking out naked in a town filled with extra angry versions of Sasuke. People talked enough about them as it was, he saw those magazines, and Ino even showed him a book someone published that went into great detail over their relationship. It was like Icha Icha paradise, but gay. It just went to show that there were still great evils in his world.

The robe fit well enough, and it wasn't as uncomfortable as the other fancier robes he had to put on had been, but really how did they fight in these things? Wouldn't a shirt and pants be easier? Oh wait, there were pants, problem solved. Soon enough he was dressed and looking every bit the Uchiha. Just better looking, not depressed, and a better ninja.

Madara's home was an L shape, with the bedrooms made up one side and the rest of the rooms made another, joined only at the hinge by the bathroom. Nestled between the two sides was a training yard, a small pond and an untended guarded were backdropped to the main attraction, a flat circle of well-walked earth and several training dummies that had seen better days.

In its center dressed in a black robe with her bare feet gliding across the dirt was Madara, eyes closed, her face was fixated in the usual permanent scowl that must be a genetic condition, but at the same time she looked oddly peaceful as her hands flowed like a river moving at the same constant pace.

"Do you always take so long to get up?" She didn't so much as look at him, but a smile grew on her face all the same. The difference was night and day with her. She continued to move in the slow controlled pattern, her feet not so much as leaving a trace as she moved. It was as hypnotic as she was.

"What are you doing?" He asked, stepping off the sun-warmed wood that made up the pathway that connected the home and onto the grass still wet with dew.

"Training, would you like to join me? Few can match me." She didn't stop moving, her stance shifted so that she faced him, one hand outstretched at him, beaconing him to challenge. "I will not blame you for declining, it shows you know who your better is."

If she wanted to go then alright! He did not back down from a challenge. Besides, there was no way that she was his better at everything. Like he probably had more chakra and cooler jutsu. "What do I do?"

Both of her hands took up a typical fighting stance. "We fight, eyes closed, hands not touching and never more than two inches from each other."

Sounded simple enough, he did something before with Lee, except a lot faster, and actually punchy. He matched her stance, the pebbles grinding against his feet, and his hands shook for a moment before steadying. "Alright, how do we tell who losses?"

Her smile turned into that mocking smirk that he was beginning to despise with every fiber of his being. "You will know when you have failed, as this is your first time, you may keep your eyes open if you wish. But be warned it does make it harder."

"I don't need a handicap, ready when you are."

"Begin."

When he fought Lee he had used sound and the thudding of the dojo mats to find where his foe was. But here, surrounded by the the outdoors against a foe that made no sound he truly felt blind to everything. This was about knowing his foe probably or some other ancient and outdated technique that was all about being in tune with his body. Which he was, he was a ninja and mastered sage chakra.

It might have been cheating, but it was his best option, and she never said he couldn't use it. He could see her chakra and her hands, moving at that same steady pace. He had wildly missed where she was going and it was only blind luck that he hadn't touched her hands. Her feet were also moving, drawing closer to him.

He needed to correct this.

"Interesting technique Naruto," She purred through the darkness, he could feel her smile through her chakra, mocking him constantly. Maybe this was why the Uchiha were so fucked up, they had to put up with Madara teasing them so that they developed childhood trauma. Had to be. "Don't play catch up, keep the pace."

It was a lot harder than it looked. "So I wanted to ask you something."

He had to move his right hand quick to avoid hers, his feet made ground against the dirt, sounding like a cannon blast in the stillness of Madara's yard.

"Ask away, but you may not get the answers you seek."

Okay, he could do this, it wasn't like he had crippling social anxiety when it came to dealing with feelings or anything. Nope. He was a straightforward man, always had been always will be. "So umm, about last night?"

She moaned, her chakra dancing like fire. "Mmm, are you sure you can concentrate while talking about that?"

"Yes!" He nearly slipped and touched her hand, which earned him a mocking chuckle from Madara. He was really starting to hate that sound.

"If you are certain, but what which part about last night?" She turned her back facing him for no more than a breath, her feet moving no faster than the snail's pace of her hands, yet still, she maintained perfect balance. No doubt she was grinning up a storm.

He ground his teeth trying to keep up with her, his foot fell hard against the dirt when he turned to meet her, his hand nearly touching hers once more. "I, well, dammit, what are we?"

"We are ninja," Her voice lacked the humor it had one moment ago. "But you do not need me to tell you that. So speak your feelings true Naruto," The humor returned followed by a chuckle that sent a shock up and down his spine. "I know you like it when I bite."

"That's what I'm trying to ask." He muttered, it was really hard to ignore the warmth of his face and his growing excitement. "What does last night make us?"

More chuckling and she started to be more aggressive with her stance, both hands moving on their own, her feet twisting and shifting with an ease that felt unnatural. "Ahh, now we get to the real question. Worry not, Naruto, I know exactly what we are, I know who I am, and what you are to me. It is only a matter of you accepting it."

"Care to explain?" He took a harsh step backward, he yanked his hand back to try and stop her from touching his. More than three inches. A lot more. He was losing his footing.

"We are lovers," she purred, her hand touching him in the chest, just enough to send him tumbling to the ground in defeat. But he never reached the ground. "I am Madara Uchiha, and you."

He opened his eyes to see her looming over him, she held him up by the folds of his robe, while still holding him down with one hand. She had beaten him in this game of balance, patience, and grace, but that didn't mean she was better than him! "And me?"

Madara's eyes sparked like embers taking to fresh kindling, and her smile grew so much more quicked and vile. She leaned in close, somehow keeping them both balanced. Her breath mixed with his and he could feel the ghost of her lips on his once more, like chasing a dream after just waking up. "And you Naruto Uzumaki, are mine."

It was really hard to protest to anything when her tongue was down his throat.


	5. He Prefers His Crazy to be Hot

Being a bastard had to be hereditary. At least in the male population of the Uchiha, Madara wasn't a bastard - well she was crazy, really crazy - but she was far from the norm, while most women kept their heads down, Madara's kept hers held high. Few seemed willing to challenge the aura of leadership she displayed in her every action.

Unfortunately, the one that did challenge her was a loud and obnoxious bastard among bastards.

"I cannot allow for you to parade this lesser ninja around town!" Sanosuke shouted, his face was red and growing redder as he continued to kick and scream like a child that had his toys taken away. It was subtle but the crowd was slowly taking sides, those that favored Sanosuke were mostly old men, Madara's was every woman and a host of young warriors in all she outnumbered him a great deal.

If she cared about any of this was known only to her. She held up an onion bouncing it on her palm a few times. "You will be cooking tonight, this onion is good can you make use of it?"

Yes, Sanosuke was shouting at her and the village looked ready for a civil war Madara was shopping for ramen ingredients. One that apparently he will be cooking tonight. It was his own fault really because he said her stew growled at him - it really did - and he kept talking about ramen.

"Uhh, I think we can have an onion slice with it if you want." It was normally in his ramen at Ichiruka but it wasn't the first or last thing he went for. She placed it into the brown sack that had seen better days on top of the noodles and other ingredients.

"Excellent, that is everything is it not?" She dusted her hands off as though to be rid of the task. "We shall drop this off and then you will-."

A sword fell between them so that he stared at his own reflection for a few moments. A silence that not even death would disturb followed, growing louder and more annoyed with each passing moment. He looked to Sanosuke who's face was one of pure rage, in contrast to the amused smile that he could see growing on Madara's. She was enjoying this way too much.

"Madara this has gone on far enough! I demand you surrender the role of leader or you take my hand in marriage!" Sanosuke growled. Whispers spread among the Uchiha, most in shock, but a few joined Sanosuke. Those that supported Madara were silent. "If you will not do either, then fight me for the right! I will decide which once I-"

A sharp laugh erupted from Madara, she clutched at her side with one hand resting on her sword hilt - he was starting to understand why she carried that with her -, the laugh was one of pure joy and amusement, and the smile that followed was the most joyful smile he'd ever seen an Uchiha make. Even if it was coated in a layer of bloodlust and pride so thick he could feel his blood coagulating in his veins.

The laughter died into the silence once more but the smile remained. "You make demands of me Sanosuke? You wish to control me? To control me simply because I am a woman you disagree with?" She stepped towards him, disturbing not a pebble, making not a sound. "Do not assume my respect for my sister as weakness, you do not control me, and you will never control the Uchiha. You cannot challenge me."

Her every word carried with it a dare, begging Sanosuke to try something, anything, he did not deliver.

"I see," Madara turned her smile - small, prideful, filled with mirth - towards him once more a single eyebrow raised. "Come now Naruto, there is much I to accomplish today."

All eyes were on him now, and all of Sanosuke's fury. The man's face was stuck in what he considered to be basic Uchiha emotion number three, pure unadulterated rage. His Sharingan was activated, every tomb promising a new and interesting death if he didn't watch his step. Why couldn't every Uchiha be the kind of Murder happy/crazy that Madara was?

Not that he swung that way.

"Uhh, I'm with uhh her." He made it about half a step before there was a sword at his throat once more, instead of a really hot lady at the end of it there was a bastard. He preferred his crazy to at least be mildly attractive.

"You don't belong here outside," Sanosuke's every breath was a growl, his steps dragged across the ground. "I will slay you for influencing our leader."

Wasn't he trying to influence their leader? Madara stood with her arms crossed, that damn mocking smile on her face. There was no way she was going to help him was there? "Uhh, Madara? What should I do?"

That smile twitched and she shook her head, her hair falling over her shoulder for just a moment. "Do as you wish, just make it quick."

Saw that coming.

"If I fight you will you go away?"

Judging by the sword sticking out of his stomach the answer was no. Felt like his uhh, what was the organ called again liver?

 **Pancrease.**

Righ, that thing was cut. Man why that thing? Even after it healed his piss would still smell funny. And where was he aiming? Why not the heart? He was standing still, he could have gone for the throat or even the heart, something that would actually do damage. Maybe he was trying to prove a point. Wait, was the bastard monologuing right now?

Nope just glaring and smiling at him. Big surprise.

Oh wait, he was supposed to be fighting right? What was that tactic that Sakura liked to use? Overwhelming force and awe. Or something like that. In less than a breath, he gathered the Natural chakra and mixed it with Kurama's own strength.

And Rasengan'd Sanosuke into the dirt with a chakra arm.

The crowd was in shock, a few were even smiling now. But Madara's smile had vanished. Did he go too far? He pulled out the sword and left it next to the still breathing corpse of Sanosuke and left it there. "Look, I'm sorry, I didn't want to fight you."

Madara's gaze followed him like the frost of winter. When he was a step away she turned, maintaining the same one and a half step she favored, he was alright with it as well as it gave him just enough room to stare at her ass, hidden though it was beneath her clothes.

She was silent on their way back to her home, and her stance was aggressive.

"Umm," Her head snapped towards him, glare sharp. "I didn't upset you or anything did I?"

"You allowed yourself to be injured?" Her voice carried a barb he hadn't heard from her before, and she stopped moving. "Why? To prove a point? To make me laugh? To show how strong you are?"

"No, I didn't mean to let him stab me." He held up the groceries he was still holding. "I was still holding these."

She growled, and he saw the smallest flash of her steel. "When I said you were mine, I meant it. That means the only one that gets to stab you is me. Do you understand?"

"I'd prefer it if you didn't stab me." That seemed like a reasonable request, especially since they were in a relationship. Even if it was the weirdest relationship he'd ever been in, well it was also the only relationship he's been in, but he was fairly certain this wasn't normal.

Her smile returned and her hand was off her sword once more. "As would I, in the future you will refrain from injuring yourself unless I say otherwise."

That sounded more impossible than the fact that he was back in time and having sex - fantastic sex - with a smoking hot female Madara. So actually possible. "I haven't gone a day without getting hurt since I showed up here."

"Then you will learn."

XXXX

After the food had been dropped off, and a few clones were left to cook - a mistake as Madara ordered two more in order to clean her home - she led him away from the village, following the same path they had taken to the village.

"So, where are you taking me?" He asked, trying to read this woman was like pulling teeth, especially when she was this quiet, it was a lucky guess that he found out she was angry with him. Thankfully she was actually mature and didn't just pretend like everything was fine.

Wait how old was she? Should probably find that out soon, not that it mattered too much.

"You will have the answer once we get there, in the meantime silence." She didn't turn back to look at him, her gaze focused on the path ahead of them, her hands were still.

She led him through the wilderness, across the river, and up a cliff, not a single animal disturbed the silence that Madara desired, even the river seemed tame at her passing. It was on a cliff that overlooked a valley filled with trees and a large lake did they finally come to a stop. A lone tree with pink leaves dominated the cliff, standing in defiance to the elements that threatened to push it off.

At its base sat something he knew all too well, a grave. Etched into the stone was the name 'Izumi'

Madara kneeled before the grave and placed her head against the ground for a moment.

He shouldn't be here. This was a private matter. "I shouldn't be here."

Saying nothing might have been better.

"No," Madara's all but whispered, lifting her head up. "Stay, I desire your presence."

Biting his lip he kneeled down beside her, doing everything he could to show proper respect for someone he did not know.

"This is my sister Izumi, killed by Tobirama Senju in battle," Madara said softly, it took all he had not to reach out and try to hold her. "My father, Tajima was also killed by the Senju, many in my village have also been killed by the Senju. I will not lie and say that I did not hate them for the longest time. Then, one day, this tree appeared here, it had to be that fool Hashirama. Only he would think that a simple plant would make up for my sister's death."

"But it is because of this tree that I began to consider the peace that he desires. He showed respect to the dead even when he did not need to. What's to say he could not show respect to the living." She lowered her head once more and silence followed again.

The shadows grew long before she sat up once more. "Thank you for your company Naruto, it shames me to say this but it hurts less when you're around."

He stood, offering his hand to her; for once she took it. Her touch lingered, the roughness of her calloused hands burned into his mind. Who knew she had a soft side? Especially one that she was willing to show him. "You're welcome, but why did you bring me here?"

"So that you understand what Konoha demands of me. It demands that we Uchiha change and lift the curse that plagues us." Her smile appeared once more, "At least for a few generations."

"What about you? Do you still have hatred?" He asked, she drew close, pulling his arms around her for a moment. He was hugging Madara.

"Make no mistake, I'd go on a murderous rampage if they killed you, but you might be able to lift my curse."

Dammit! Why the hell was she so sexy, cute, adorable, into him, and drop-dead gorgeous, but also really crazy?

 **AN: say it with me now, D'awwwww**

 **Anyways, fair warning NaNoWriMo is coming up soon and I'd like to try working on an original fiction... which means I'll try that for like a week give up and write fanfiction nonstop for the rest of the month.**


	6. One prick, extra crispy

"So, what's the deal Sanosuke?" He placed the steaming bowl of ramen in front of Madara, honestly, he might have outdone himself this time. While it wasn't as good as instant ramen or anywhere near as awesome Ichiraku ramen was it was a lot better than that time Sai talked Sakura into making him birthday ramen. Neither one of those two could cook and he nearly died.

Oh, right, he might, never see those two again. Or anybody else from Konoha. If only he knew how and why he ended up here, he might be able to figure out someway to-

"This is surprisingly good," Madara spoke between greedy gulps of ramen, she held the bowl like it was merely a sake dish taking large sips of the broth. "Far better than the tomato-based monstrosities my clan makes." She gave him a smile lowering the bowl for just a moment. "Congratulations Naruto, it is not often I am forced to admit defeat, but you are the better cook, your reward is the honor of cooking for me every night."

"You just don't want to cook."

She shrugged, her smile offering now shame. "As for Sanosuke," Her frown vanished behind her bowl, her mournful silence betrayed by an obnoxious slurp that almost made him proud. "He is one of my stronger warriors, having survived many fights against the Senju. In the past, he was one of my strongest supporters as well and even agreed that further fighting with the Senju would be pointless."

Holy crap, was Sanosuke Madara's ex or something? Wait, no that didn't make sense with how he talked. He took a sip of his own ramen, more salt next time. "Something happened didn't it?"

"He was to marry my sister." She looked so timid, displaying a softness that betrayed the edge she carried. "No one took her death well, but Sanosuke took it harder than most, and all the love had had for my sister turned into hatred for the Senju. He let that hatred consume him, to cement himself as the second strongest ninja in the clan."

"And you?" Sanosuke sounded more like the Madara he knew, well kind of, it might just be an Uchiha thing. "I mean, I know you said that still have hatred, but why didn't you let it consume you?"

She gave a curt laugh lifting her bowl up once more. "You should know the answer to that by now," Her smile turned wry, "I hate to lose, even to myself."

XXXX

His bed was significantly less comfortable than it had been in the morning, it was cold, lumpy, and significantly empty. He tossed for what felt like the hundredth time, the cover half covering his body as he switched between too hot and too cold faster than Sasuke switched sides. Sasuke huh, that was another person he wasn't going to see ever again. Not unless he lived for like what, a hundred years? Uzumaki's were good at living long and several people have said that he was too stubborn or too stupid to die, so he'd probably be able to see all of them again.

Wait! What if Sasuke is related to Madara? What if he became Sasuke's grandpa? Bastard would probably be a shitty grandson. Holy crap he was going to be older than Jiraiya! And older than the old man. Were they even born yet? Oh, hey he could make sure that his parents wouldn't die.

All that required was to make sure Madara didn't go crazy. That was easy.

He yawned, rolling over and gathering the blanket around him snuggling into its warmth. It was going to be great seeing everybody again. All he had to do was not die, so far he's done a pretty good job of that.

Something was wrong.

Awareness was thrust upon him as his sleep was disturbed. His heart was pounding, beating like thunder in his ears as adrenaline woke up every still sleeping muscle in his body. The air was thick with chakra, why? Who? What? When?

It did not take much Natural chakra to tell him where it was coming from; Madara's room, but she was not alone.

He was out the door before he was fully awake, fighting against whatever jutsu had been cast, he couldn't hear his footsteps and all of his muscles felt like they were asleep. Some kind of sleep based jutsu? Why? What was going on? He needed to see if Madara was okay. She probably was, but he had a bad feeling about this.

Every step felt heavier than the last, his muscles were begging for an endless sleep. Like hell, he was going to let some cheap trick beat him. Again. Gathering Kurama's chakra helped shake it off.

"I warned you Madara!" Sanosuke's voice rung clear once he reached her door. Inside, he could see Sanosuke and Madara standing there in her room, chakra surrounding both of them. And Madara looked like she was in pain, frozen with her arms at her sides.

"Bastard!" She spat, eyes shut as she tried to struggle against whatever invisible bonds held her. "I'll kill you!"

"You'll do nothing Madara!" Sanosuke laughed, "This is my ultimate technique! Everything that you were, everything that you will be, will become mine and you'll become nothing! I will take your name and I will make sure that the Senju burn!"

Why did villains monologue so much? Didn't matter, Rasengan's normally shut them up. Oh great, he was Sakura now, solving everything with violence. Ehh, Sanosuke was a dick and was trying to kill his girlfriend. That was Rasengan worthy.

Much like early today, Sanosuke was slammed into the ground with a single Rasengan, his jutsu ending. Madara stumbled grabbing her head like she was having one hell of a headache, part of her robe was undone, exposing her left breast.

He took a step forward, reaching out for her. "Are you-"

She roared, pushing past him to kick Sanosuke in the head rolling him over. Where she then proceeded to give Sanosuke one hell of a beating. She sat on his stomach, delivering blow after blow to the other Uchiha's head with a ferocity that could quash an army. "You fucking bastard!"

"After everything I've done for you! After everything we've been through you tried to take my life?" She continued to beat down upon him, tears falling from her Sharingan. Her face was flushed red and her breath was as erratic as her chakra. "If your hatred has led you to attack you own clan then you are nothing but a mad dog!"

Her hands flashed through one hand seal after another. "And like any beast, you must be put down."

"I'd rather die than ally with those Senju bastards!" Sanosuke slurred, blood spilling from a broken lip.

"So be it," The tears stopped and composure graced her once more. "You wanted my power Sanosuke? Then you can have it."

Flame so bright and hot it could be called lightning shot out from Madara's mouth, right at Sanosuke's head. His scream could only be heard for a moment before the roar of the flame drowned it out. He struggled, arms and legs flailed in a vain attempt to stop the jutsu. But it was too little too late.

Madara's floor began to blacken, skipping the steps of being on fire and going directly to white-hot ash, then to obsidian. The air in the room turned drier than Suna, the sweat on his body and the tears on Madara's face being evaporated in the heat.

Even after Sanosuke stopped struggling, she continued to burn where his head had once been. She only stopped when his entire body was nothing but ash, as though Sanosuke had never existed.

Another roar, this one lacking vengeance and hatred, was filled with sadness lasted just until she began to collapse.

He caught her, pulling her towards his chest, where she buried her face, tears coming once again.

"I'm sorry," he muttered, holding her tightly. Her every sob a stab to his heart. She just killed someone important to her in a fit of rage. He could have stopped it. This shouldn't have happened. This wasn't what peace was about. Peace wasn't about killing everyone that wanted to kill him. "I'm so sorry."

"You saved me," She managed between sobs, clutching at his clothes, all the fight in her washed away. "You have nothing to be sorry for."

"He didn't need to die."

"Perhaps," She paused to look at him, wiping a few stray tears away with her wrist. "I misunderstood his hatred, I knew asking him to be okay with the Senju would push him. I should have realized he did not just hate the Senju, but living life without Izumi, and in that respect I failed him."

She wrapped her arms around his neck pressing up against him and releasing a long sigh. "At least now he Sanosuke can be with my sister once more."

"But still we could have-"

"Unless you figure out how to travel back in time once more then you are to speak nothing more of this." Her finger graced his lip as her head fell onto his shoulders, her long raven hair falling to the side. "I chose to stay in separate rooms to make sure I had the energy for tomorrow, but it worked for the best."

"Should I take you to my room?" He picked her up, not waiting for an answer, taking soft steps to avoid the ash that now covered the floor. Could he really fall asleep ten feet away from someone that had just been burned to death?

"You have my permission to hold me until we both fall asleep. Tomorrow is a long day and may yet invite more bloodshed."

"Don't worry, that won't happen." Probably. Hopefully. He had a good feeling about tomorrow.

 **AN: Huh, Sanosuke got burned to a crisp. Oh well. Next time there's a meeting! with a special surprise character where half you guys say I ruined the story :d Anyways until next time.**


	7. Don't touch him, he's mine

"Try not to say anything stupid," Madara warned, taking the first step into the rocky clearing that was the meeting area, a single river snaked through the center not shallow enough to drown in, but the water was quick and clear. "Also if you so much as look at another woman I will end them, and then I will cut you."

"So I should just go out their blind folded?" She was probably at least slightly serious about the whole stabbing thing, hopefully she'd at least wait, or just stab him with her hand…. Softly. "Or maybe I should just stand back."

She snorted, "I have seen you move blindfolded, somehow it is worse than how you move normally, but no, I need you there, and able to fight, you are to be my second, especially if that bastard Tobirama wishes to try something."

"Besides," She smiled, black eyes twinkling like the space between stars. "I wish to show you off, both as my prize and as my champion."

A sour taste washed over his mouth, fueled by a single thought that didn't sit well with him. "Are you trying to make the First Hokage jealous?"

"Why would I be jealous of parading you around like a prized bird?" Her smile didn't fade as she pushed back a strand of her hair, readjusting her ponytail that was a failed attempt to contain her long raven hair. Somehow it looked even hotter than normal. "Remember, I will not let that fool Hashirama become the First Hokage, that title will be mine. You can have the title of Second once I grow tire of it. Or perhaps not, there is much we can do with an abundance of free time."

He pushed her lightly as they walked along one of the larger stones, worn smooth from rain, wind, and the river. Her posture didn't change in the slightest and her grace shined through as she moved like a grass in the wind. "You're avoiding my question."

"While I do respect that fool Hashirama a great deal there is nothing between us." She sighed, grinding her teeth and letting out a low growl. "You will see soon enough why he agitates me and why I wish to show you off. However if you wish to kill Hashirama in a fit of jealousy I will do little to stop you."

"Is it wrong I kind of want to fight him for the fun of it?"

"No, I find the desire to challenge ones self to be an attractive trait," She drew in close so that he could hear the husk in her voice that sent a shiver down his back. "One that I wish to exploit in bed."

"Are you trying to turn me on before the meeting?"

"It would amuse me."

"How on earth did I fall in love with a girl like you?"

She stopped, one foot balancing on the crumbled peak of a shattered stone. Her face was flushed and she glared at him. "You are not to say that in public."

"Why?"

Her lips fell upon his cheek, then she took the lead once more her voice being carried on the warm breeze. "I may not be able to control hunger for you otherwise."

They stood at the stone covered bank of the river, Madara standing with her arms crossed on the taller rock while he stood below her, close to the waters edge. The other Uchiha - all their warriors - stood behind him, hands on their weapons, they were not just ready for a fight, they were hoping for it.

Madara's foot tapped against the stone, growing faster and faster and began to mix with the low growl that was escaping from her as she glared daggers at the forest just across from the rocky bastion. It came to a stop and a smile broke out across her face. "They're here."

It was hard not to remember the feeling of Hashirama's chakra. Even when the man was dead, sealed, and turned against him it was something that could not be forgotten. An overflowing sense of power that demanded respect and warned his enemies to flee. Kurama roared out inside of him, wanting to try and fight the man once more, to crush him, apparently some grudges didn't go away so easily.

Still, Naruto couldn't help but smile, he wanted to fight Hashirama and go all out. If for no other reason than to say he beat the god of shinobi.

"You're late Hashirama you fool!" Madara barked, crouching low and placing an arm on her knee. Her smile was feral and he could see the desire to fight burn around her. Was that how he was with Sasuke? Hopefully not. Then her smile and zeal vanished when the man came into view. "How'd you get a black eye?"

"It is why we're late," a white haired man dressed in blue plate arm asnwered, the Second Hokage, Tobirama said, nothing was spared his glare, not even his own brother. "Though to be honest I didn't expect you to show up."

"Oh come now, Tobirama, show some respect," Hashirama flinched as he touched his black eye, "This is merely a wound from our guest, I may have over stepped my bounds, but who is your friend? I don't recall a blond Uchiha."

Madara gestured towards him her smile growing more wicked with each motion. "This is my lover you fool, his voice of reason is why I am even bothering with you."

"Lover?" Hashirama shook his head blinking. "Oh, well I see, that's very forward thinking of your clan! They must be happy for you!" He bowed at the waste towards him. "I do hope you and Madara can find happiness, I know he can be a handful at times."

"Hashirama you fool!" The stone cracked under her foot, and her hand was resting her the blade of her hilt. "How many times do I have to tell you I am a woman!"

Hashirama snorted. "What? Nonsense, I have known you since you were a boy, now please stop trying to trick me Madara, I accept you for who you are."

Madara growled her eye twitching as her fingers danced along her hilt. "Enough of this. We are here to talk about the future of our-"

"Naruto?" A voice called out from behind Hashirama, Tobirama, and the host of ninja that accompanied them. Coming into view was a beautfiul woman with long pink hair tied into a ponytail that trailed well bellow her waist, a pink diamond was stuck in the middle of her forehead. Naturally one of the first things he noticed was her rather pronounced chest, especially compared to her rather slender figure that was dressed in an pink battle kimono similiar to what Shizune used to wear. She was also waving at him. "Is that you Naruto?"

He almost didn't recognize her because of the boobs and the long hair. But there was no doubt that it was Sakura. What was she doing here? How did she get here? How long did she have to be here to grow hair that long and boobs that big?

"Sakura!" He crossed the river in a heartbeat, rushing over to pull Sakura into a hug. Laughing even as he felt tears fall from his eyes. He picked her up, spinning her around, and she hugged him back, her monsterous strength all but squeezing the life out of him. They seperated but he didn't dare take his arms off her or else she might vanish.

"Why's your hair so long and where'd you get the boobs?" Yes, that was the first thing that came out of his mouth. Important questions like why she was here, how was she, and other things still sat in the back of his mind but she did just squeeze her boobs against his chest. Besides. It was Sakura with boobs. That only happened in his dreams.

Her face turned red, and her smile vanished, her arms folding over her chest. "Idiot is that the first thing that you ask me? And I don't know when I got here my hair was long and my boobs were big." She pointed towards his arm, still glaring at him. "Probably why you got your arm back."

"Oh, right, I guess that makes sense. Do you know why we're here or how we even got here?" There was probably a chance that she knew but probably not. "I just kind of remember flying through the air and then crashing into a river."

"Not so loud," Sakura hissed. "We're in the past you idiot we can't let them know where we're from."

Oh, well it was a bit to late for that, but hopefully it wasn't that big of a deal that he maybe told Madara basically everything. Maybe it was a good thing that he was bad a history? "Uhh, okay but umm, why?"

Sakura's face turned cold. "You told someone didn't you?"

"Told someone what?" Madara's cold voice and icy glare was contrast to the warm smile she bore. He had a bad feeling about this. "And I would appreciate it if you would realse him this instant. I'd hate for him to get in the way of me killing you."

Sakura returned the glare without missing a beat. "Oh, and why would I do that? He's my friend and who the hell are you?"

Madara continued to draw her sword as though she was singing it out. "I shall do you the honor of knowing the name of the one who would kill you. I am Madara Uchiha and you are touching my lover."

"Wait," Sakura blinked, several times, her fist still clutched around his collar. "You're Madara Uchiha? As in The Madara Uchiha?"

"I see my reputation proceeds me I-"

"You're woman?" Sakura all but shouted, her mouth hanging open.

"Yes! I am a woman!" Madara finished drawing her sword and sliced at the air, her anger was hot enough that he feared she might catch the river on fire. "Why is everybody so suprised by that! Now release Naruto so I might kill you properly!"

"Why? He's just an idiot." Sakura blinked, looking between him and Madara, showing way to much bravery for someone that was about to be murdered.

Madara went to swing but was stopped by Hashirama grabbing her arm. "Come now Madara you know a man should never hit a woman."

"Piss of Hashirama you fool! Let me kill that skank she's touching what's rightfully mine!"Madara flailed.

"Ahh," Sakura blinked, he could hear things clicking into place inside her head. She blinked at him, looking between him, and the angry Madara that was all but spewing fire. As to how an actual fight hadn't broken out between the two clans was something else entirerly. "Madara said you're her lover right?"

"Uhh yes?" He nodded flinching, waiting for a punch that would in all likely hood send him back to the future. "Please don't hit me."

The blow never came. He dared a glance at Sakura her face a mixture of disguest as he watched all the events unfold before his eyes. "You Idiot," her voice carried that normal barb with but was barely a whisper. "You mean to tell me, that"

She had both hands around his collar and he felt his feet lift off the ground. She was mad. Really really mad. Madder than he'd ever seen her before.

"YOU HAD SEX WITH MADARA UCHIHA?"

 **AN: Hey look its Sakura... I'm ready for the flames claiming that I ruined the story by including her. But here me out. The pairing is still the same. And she's here to help with the plot and is not a romantic intrest for Naruto (He's a guy he's going to notice his best female friend growing boobs). Also Hashirama is a sexist pig that doesn't think Madara is a girl. Anyways, I'll see what few of you stick around after this chapter! Next chapter is going to be slightly explainy.**


	8. Trying to unfuck the future

"I actually can't believe this." Sakura passed in front of them rubbing her head like she was fighting off the worst headache in the history of the world. She probably named it after him. The fact that Madara hadn't tried to kill her yet was mostly thanks to Hashirama making her more mad at him than she was at Sakura. "We haven't even been here a week! And somehow you managed to. Literally. Fuck up the future."

He winced trying to shrink down, the Senju and Uchiha clans were staring in a state of shock and awe at them, none daring to draw to close less an actual fight broke out. "I'm sorry?"

"Oh, I'll show you sorry!" Sakura flipped a strand of hair out of her face and gave a huff, rubbing at her shoulder so that her pronounced chest swayed. It was weird that Sakura had boobs but they looked good on her. A fact that Tobirama also noticed. She sighed, her gaze losing the sharpness it had moments ago. "Honestly Naruto, it's like you didn't even think about the consequences."

"Forgive for interrupting Sakura," Tobirama held up his hand his red eyes locked onto Sakura as he sat on a rock one knee higher than the other. The Second Hokage always had the grumpiest looking face on the monument, but he was starting to think that they were too kind with his scowl. "But, could you explain why you're so upset that he's in a relationship with the Uchiha? Is he a past lover of yours?"

It was hard to miss the cut in his voice.

"And what of this future you seem so concerned about. Where are you and Naruto from?" He continued no longer glancing at him.

"Well since he was an idiot and told Madara everything I might as well tell you two to see if we can unfuck everything?" She pinched the bridge of her nose and took a deep breath. "Should probably also see if Madara is pregnant."

Probably wasn't a good idea to tell her that he prevented Madara from dying and that they killed a person. "But how do we know this is our past, I mean Madara is a girl so a bunch of stuff could be different."

Tobirama cracked a smile - he preferred the scowl - and let out a low chuckle that would do Sasuke proud. "The answer to that is simple, my brother is an idiot and thinks that she is a man, and I encourage it because it amuses me."

"You're kind of an ass you know that?" He glared at the man.

"You'll forgive me for relishing in the suffering of the one who killed many of my family."

That was fair.

"But we saw Madara, he got resurrected and tried to take over the world." Sakura sighed scratching her head once again. "Oh, right I need to explain where we're from."

"Yes!" Hashirama barreled over to them, still beaming with vitality and bravado. He bowed arms stiff. "I would like to finally hear where you are from Sakura!"

Maybe Rock Lee was related to him. Wait, no, that was wrong. Personalities weren't genetic, besides, Hashirama didn't have nearly enough eyebrow to be related to Rock Lee.

"Hashirama you fool!" Madara growled, a wicked sneer on her face that only brightened when she looked at him. "Our duel and your idiocy will have to wait." She turned towards Sakura, hand on her sword once again. "I will hear what you have to say and if I am not satisfied I will kill you."

"If you want this meeting to be a success you will do no such thing." Tobirama stood between them, arms crossed and matching Madara's sneer growl to growl. Poor bastard didn't know that Sakura didn't need protecting and that she was stubborn enough to punch through her protection. "Sakura is under the protection of the Senju, but do not mistake her as weak."

"Come now Madara, you know a man shouldn't strike the first blow against a woman." Hashirama placed his hand on Madara's shoulder like they were old drinking buddies.

"Unhand me you fool!" Madara slapped his hand away and stomped away from him. "How many times do I have to tell you I'm a woman!" She stomped over and sat down on his lap, bringing her arms around his neck so that her breath tickled his neck. She was being rather affectionate and clingy.

"So, why do you think Madara is a man?" Sakura asked, one hand on her hip. "Are trying to claim that a woman can't fight?"

"When did I ever say that?" Hashirama scratched the back of his head, his face scrunched up. "I know full well how strong some women are but it goes against my code to strike one first. And Madara is a man, I saw him naked when we were younger."

Madara bristled in his arms, and a low growl passed through him tingling his spine. "I was in my underwear you fool!"

"Yes but you have no breasts."

"I was six!"

"Yes, but you still have no breasts."

"Just because I'm not a cow like she does, does not mean I'm not a woman!" Madara let out a frustrated scream and pointed towards Sakura.

Sakura blushed, trying to cover her chest as best she could. "These are new! And these are not what makes a woman!"

And they weren't that big. They were just big on Sakura because she used to be flat. Madara was bigger than Sakura used to be. Not that he'd seen Sakura's bare breasts, but he'd seen her in workout gear before and to his at the time teenage brain that was basically the same thing. Madara also had a nice stomach and better legs. The jury was still out on the butt though.

Wait, he got to touch Madara's butt, hers wins.

Hashirama nodded, a blush on both his and his brothers face, eyes fixated on Sakura as she squirmed. "I'm well aware, but when we were young Madara told me he was male several times, proclaiming it loudly."

"That was because I was not strong enough to be free and a woman you fool." She huffed tearing her eyes off Hashirama. "I'm tired of arguing with this fool. You there, Sakura was it, I will allow you to explain the future to these two, and no others, they will help me become Hokage and lead Konoha properly."

Sakura sighed again, her shoulder dropping, and she looked more than ready to go to bed. She was way too stressed about all this. "Fine, maybe between the four of us we can find some way to make sure the future goes the same way?"

"Why? You would have me be remembered as a villain and a man instead of as the powerful leader of Konoha?" If Sakura heard the barb in Madara's voice she didn't show it. Yep, she was done with everything.

"Yes, you don't seem to understand, we have a lasting world peace. A lasting peace that you going crazy and trying to take over the world built. Yes, there's a lot of people that died during the four ninja wars, but things are finally-"

"So you are a coward and fear change? You would damn the lives of so many so that the future you will not see will come once again?" Madara squeezed him tighter, her hand was shaking with the anger that her voice did not show.

"Yea, Sakura, it's not like we have a way to go back, and just think about how many people we could save. You could stop Sasuke from ever going to Orochimaru in the first place, and I can deal with Kaguya again, especially with Madara's help!" She was like a super Sasuke that he got to have sex with. Ew, bad thought. Madara was Madara and she was his girlfriend, lover, thing…?

"This was why I wanted to keep it a secret." The glare she gave him could kill a lesser man. And he probably would have whimpered had Madara not been holding onto him like a dog guarding its last bone. At least her and Sakura weren't trying to kill each other. "I know it's selfish, but we have that peace you both worked so hard to achieve, all the villages are aligned with each other, and things are looking good, no more children being sent to war, no more fathers and mothers no longer coming home. We have peace," she pawed at a tear that had begun to sprout from her eyes.

"Crocodile tears," Madara snorted just under her breath.

"I know it's unfair to ask you all to sacrifice so much, especially you Madara, but it is for the best." Sakura forced a smile. "Besides, there might be a way for me and Naruto to go back."

"Wait, what?" He would be standing had Madara not been on his lap. A way back? A chance to see his friends and family again. Ramen? But that would mean leaving Madara here, wouldn't it? "What are you talking about Sakura?"

"The portal I came out of is still there, or at least it was yesterday when I checked," A portal? How come he had to fall to the earth and she gets a portal? Man, it felt like someone was out to get him or something. Sakura smiled and nodded at him. "I tried to open it with my chakra but I didn't have enough, but between you, Hashirama and Kurama we should be able to open it back up and let us go back to our time."

Madara growled, her fingers digging into his back and she got as close as she could. "You will not leave me."

He didn't want to. He really didn't. But, he also wanted to see his friends and family back home again. Was she worth that life? Did his love for her that had bloomed so virulent in the past week outweigh the love he had back home? He didn't know.

"What makes you think you'll be able to go back through it?" Tobirama asked. "And what makes you think it'll lead to the same future you had in your past? What's to say it won't change with the knowledge we have now?"

"It's worth a shot isn't it?" Sakura shrugged, running her hand through her hair. "I don't even know what's going on, but I do know that we need to go back. We don't belong here. However, we got here is a mistake. You agree with me right Naruto?"

All eyes were on him. Hashirama's confused gaze, Tobirama's judgemental one, Sakura pleading one, and Madara's daring one. "I don't know, I mean I understand what you're saying, but. I mean, it might not even go back to Konoha right?"

"No, it does, I'll take you all there tomorrow." Sakura smiled, it was cute and thankful. She pointed towards the two clans behind them that were glaring at each other weapons drawn. "In the meantime I think we need to focus on stopping a war that would ruin everything."

XXXX

Madara was mad. Really really mad. It was quite possibly the maddest he'd seen her. Which considering how she was always at least kind of mad in some form or another was outstanding. On their way to camp no matter how much he pleaded, no matter how much he begged for forgiveness she refused to speak to him.

"Look Madara I'm-"

It was hard to explain himself with her tongue down his throat. She twisted him pushing him inside their tent, shoving him to the ground and disrobing him in one motion all while kissing him as though her life depended on it. He was on his back, with her on top of him, her favorite position.

She separated for just a moment, doing away with her robe and exposing her lithe body to him once more. "I will make this abundantly clear Naruto."

Her kiss burned like fire as her hand tore at his pants before grabbing his already hard penis stroking it softly. Before he knew it they were naked, his hands on her hips as she slowly grinded into him, a soft moan escaping her.

"You are mine, and mine alone." She grabbed his hand, leading it up her tight stomach and up to her supple breast, his thumb resting against her hard nipple. "Just as I am yours."

She twisted suddenly, coercing a moan out of him as his body shuddered in delight. All of his senses were devoted to her, his every action for her and his every thought about her. She leaned down kissing him as she continued to ride him. "I will permit you to open the portal. I will allow your friend Sakura to leave this world through the portal. And I will allow you to make a choice, to stay or leave."

"Why?" He barely managed to say that between the gasps of pleasure he was spouting.

"Because," She kissed him again, her movements slowing even as her breath quickened, she was squeezing him tight, and trying to hold back the moans that were building up inside of her that was only adding to the frustration she was about to unleash upon him. "It will get rid of this annoying Sakura you seem so fond of." He felt her smile against his cheeks, her tongue carreassing his ear. "And I know you will choose me."

She made a damn fine argument.

 **AN: Is that technically a lemon? I thank all of you who stuck around after Sakura's introduction and I hope that this shows why I included her. Sasuke would be all up on the "Yea, no let's fuck up the future" train harder than Madara is on Naruto's cock.**

 **Anyways I hope you all enjoyed this chapter, and thank you for all the support you gave me last chapter, it helped me a lot.**


	9. Fuck the future

"I fail to understand, you love me, yes?" Madara ground her teeth, it had been a mistake to wake up and get out of bed this morning. He wanted to just stay there with her in his arms and pretend that he didn't have such a difficult choice ahead of him. "So why are you still conflicted about this?"

Because it wasn't an easy choice. Part of him was hoping that they couldn't get the portal open and then he wouldn't have to make the choice. He looked up ahead to where Sakura was leading them, she seemed so sure that it would work. And in some ways, she was right about what he should do, but even when he knew what was right he couldn't decide.

"Because it's not that easy," He paused, trying to find the right words to say. He was so used to just followed his heart and knowing what he had to do next, and everything just working out. Being conflicted between what was right and wrong was so new and it really sucked. "I have to choose between you and everybody else that I know and love."

"Then you will choose me." She continued to glare at him, easily keeping pace without so much as looking where she was going. She gave a sigh, her glare and usual scowl were gone, replaced with the expressions she tried to bury. "I need you here."

"I know, but it's just." It'd be great if she could come to the future with him, but she was needed here in the past. And she had the worse part of everything. But if he went back to the future then the future her might try to kill him, even though the future her was a guy? This stuff was confusing.

He gave a sigh, trying to get as close to her as he could. "Could you choose between me and your clan?"

She turned away from him, eye scanning the horizon, her face an unreadable mask that didn't give him anything. He had barely known her for a week, but he was already struggling to choose between his home and her. If it had been a month, how different would things be? A year?

Was she worth giving up his dream of becoming the next Hokage? Was she worth all the hard work he had put into getting the village to acknowledge and respect him? Was she worth his future?

Was he worth that much to her? He wanted that to be yes.

"Well?" He pressed. "Could you?"

She continued to remain silent, staring dead ahead like he wasn't even there.

"Are you going to answer me?"

"I don't know!" The mask snapped, and she turned to look at him, she looked hurt, like when she first broke down in front of her sisters grave. "I do not know if I could choose between you and my clan. I don't know if I could leave my clan to be with you. I don't know if I could leave you to be with my clan. I do not have the answer to your question. Was that the answer you desired."

"No," at least she wasn't trying to lie to get what she wanted. He smiled hand falling on her shoulder. "But you know why I'm having a hard time with this."

A growl escaped her and she pushed his hand away hastening her pace. "I will not be happy until you make the right choice."

Was this why people were so annoyed talking to him? Man stubborn people sucked.

XXXX

'Portal' was a bad word for it. This was more a tear or crack in reality only visible from one side it gave no light and cast no shadow, even the mirror like basin of water that it loomed over didn't acknowledge its existence. But there it was a bolt of lightning frozen and stretched out so that its innards were exposed to the world. The tear gasped like a fish out of water, polluting the air with the stench of Ozone.

"See," Sakura's smile was one that he hadn't seen in a while, it was a childlike excitement that managed to worm its way out of her mature persona from time to time. It wasn't the kind of smile she wore when Sasuke was near. Or maybe that was just him over analyzing things.

She walked up to the portal a bounce in her step, the water hardly even noticed her passing. Must be nice having perfect chakra control. The portal thumped with a sound like thunder stretched out over a minute when she slapped it. "I told you it was here, come, look, you can see Konoha."

"Are you sure you should be hitting it like that?" He asked, foot slipping into the water, mostly because he wasn't watching where he was going. Great, now his sock was wet. Just one terrible thing after another was happening today and it looked like there was no stopping it.

"It's fine, it's pretty sturdy." Sakura beamed, slapping it again.

"You tried to punch it didn't you?"

Her joy vanished, replaced by a pout that she tried to use to get out of her own stupid mistakes. It only worked once! "What makes you think I tried to punch it?"

"Because that's what you do when something doesn't go your way." And sometimes it was the first thing she did, actually most of the time. That or stomp her foot to make the earth shake. Why was he attracted to violent women?

He peered into the crack, it extended backward, projecting a depth that it didn't have to show a part of Konoha he knew all too well, the Hokage monument, he could clearly see the third Hokage's stoic face, Tsunade's scowl, and Kakashi's mask. Then there was his father's visage, if he stayed, maybe he could change that?

But if he stayed, he wouldn't be able to see his friends and family again, would he? There was more than a hundred years between now and then. Could he even live that long? Even baring the very likely chance that he'd die in a fight or doing something stupid - a public pole said that he was most likely to die to choking on ramen - that was still a long time to live, it was like twice as old as Granny was and she was super old!

"That's how I know things haven't changed for us Naruto." Sakura placed a hand on his shoulder. "Things are still the same, the Hokages are still the same, the third is still there, the fourth, then Tsunade, and then Kakashi-sensei. No weird future where we have an Orochimaru Hokage or anything like that."

"I have eyes Sakura," He muttered. Try as he might he couldn't be as excited about this as she was or even as much as he knew he should be. That was his home. Right there. He could see it. "But how do you know this will work? Or even if its safe?"

She rolled her eyes. "Honestly, you're going to be lecturing me on what's safe or not?" She sighed, turning towards Konoha once again. "I understand what you're going through," bullshit. "But remember, that's your home, there are people there that are relying on you, waiting for you to become the next Hokage. I'm one of them. And you bet your ass when you get that hat that I'm going to be cheering my head off for you. So come on, it's your home isn't it."

How many guilt trips could he take in one day?

"I know Sakura, I know, but anyways how do we open this thing?" Hopefully, they couldn't get it open and he wouldn't have to make such a hard choice.

"Naruto," she was annoyed with him. It was almost scary how well she could read him. "Look, if you can't make a tough choice like this then what makes you think you can become the Hokage?"

That hurt. That hurt a lot. Sakura was one of his loudest supporters and critics. "What are you talking about?"

"As the Hokage, you will have to make many hard choices that will change the future. What projects get passed, who to send on a mission, which alliance to accept, which trade agreement works best, what changes to make. A lot of them have no easy right or wrong." The worse part about it was that he knew she was right.

Konoha, Konoha was important to him.

"You will both silence your whispering and explain this to us now," Madara growled, she stood separated from both groups, arms crossed, he teeth were no doubt ground to nothing at this point, or maybe she just ground them all to a razor sharpness so she could bite people more effectively. She pointed towards Tobirama, "Also, why are you here? You are not needed."

"I'm needed no more than you are," Tobirama huffed his face as blank as ever. "But perhaps my time would be better spent leading a surprise attack on the Uchiha while you are occupied."

"Is that why you packed that bag, brother?" Hashirama boomed smacking his brother on the back. "It is good you are here with us then, our peace is still but a seedling and seeing the tree it will bloom into makes me eager to get started."

Tobirama glowered, looking more annoyed by the second. "It does look promising, perhaps if the portal is stable you'll allow us to visit your home Sakura?"

"No! Absolutely not! The whole point of us leaving is so that we don't change anything that would mess Konoha up. The fact that it still looks the same so far despite this idiot's best attempt is nothing short of a miracle." Sakura stomped her foot, splashing water up onto her robes.

A ninja jumped a squad of ninja jumped across the crack, and the clouds were in a different spot as well. So it was more than a picture.

"Who are you to call him an idiot?" Madara sneered, marching up to glare at Sakura, both women were nearly the same height, and part of his brain was telling him to run away. So much pain in one spot was not a good thing. Besides. If they started to fight he didn't know whose side he'd be on. Or if he'd even be on a side.

Sakura with all the pig-headed stubbornness and confidence she had built up over the years glared right back at someone that was one of the strongest ninjas in the world. Not that he wouldn't do the same thing. "I'm his keeper, that's who."

Madara looked to him, "Are you going to just accept that?"

"Umm," the claim wasn't entirely wrong, Sakura was often put on missions with him with a bonus assignment to make sure he didn't do anything too stupid. Despite the fact that half the fuck-ups were both of theirs.

"Bah! Spineless." She snapped away. "Hurry up so I can be done with you, and pray that I never run into your ancestors else my blade might just slip."

"Okay, well I'm still here, so I should be fine." Sakura shrugged and turned to Hashirama, "Now then, I was able to open up the portal a little bit with some of my chakra, but it requires a lot more than what I have so, so I'm going to need you and-"

"Wait, don't you have a lot of chakra inside your seal thing?" He asked pointing towards her forehead. "Didn't you try to use that."

She sighed, pinching her nose. "Naruto, yes, my seal gives me access to a lot of chakra but its nowhere near as much as you two have. You both literally shit chakra more chakra than I use in a day."

"A fair maiden such as yourself shouldn't swear so casually Sakura." Hashirama beamed stepping forward.

"Oh shut the fuck up."

That earned a snort from Madara. "Congratulations, I hate you slightly less."

"Okay, now then, Naruto, I want you to use Kurama's chakra, and Hashiram, please channel your sage chakra, I have a feeling its going to take a lot." Sakura clapped her hands, "I'll be using my chakra to try and keep things contained, and hopefully, but if need be Tobirama, and Madara could you please lend me a hand?"

"Fine," Tobirama nodded, shifting his bag once more.

Madara glared, her mood still sour from their fight. "Again, if only to be rid of you."

They arranged themselves so that Sakura stood between, him and Hashirama, all of their hands touching the crack, it was solid but had no texture it was as if something was just stopping his hands from moving forward. Kurama was cooperating, but just barely, his giant murderous fox of a friend was salivating at the chance to put Hashirama in his place.

"That chakra!" Hashirama boomed, thick black lines spread about his body and his eyes took on a familiar yellow tint. His sage mode was a weird mix of Sakura's seal thing and full-on sage arts. Maybe he should try to learn it? "I knew it felt familiar, tell me, how do you have so much of the Kyuubi's chakra."

"Oh, uhh well I have Kurama sealed inside of me, and he lets me use his chakra because we're friends." The giant fox screamed inside his head. "Also he said to go die in a ditch you rotten teaching bastard."

"Haha, I'll be sure to remember that if I ever encounter the beast again. Kurama was it? Has a nice ring to it!"

"Could you two focus for half a second?" Somehow Sakura was scarier than Kurama was, her own seal thing was active with thick black lines covering her face, and all the way to her fingertips. "Okay, on a count of three, start pushing your chakra into it, keep it steady and even, try to match each other. One, Two, Three."

An earthquake without motion hit them, the air seemed to vibrate, the water they stood on began to push away from them, its waves growing large with each passing second. The crack itself began to pulse, shimmer, and shake.

A hole began to appear at the top, looking like glass being melted from one side. Another hole appeared, then a third. All slowly expanding. One appeared under his hand and quickly began to swallow it hole. But whatever stopped his hand from moving forward remained.

The crack began to crack. Then it shattered. And he nearly fell forward when that invisible surface gave way.

It thrummed. Pulsating with energy and power.

"We did it!" Sakura cheered. "We can go home we can-"

She was silenced quickly by Madara's foot slamming into her backside, pushing her into the portal. "Good riddance."

He moved on his own. Instinct. Pure instinct from saving her so many times in the past, from all the fights where they got in over their heads, there's was a bond that could only be forged by the ninja of Konoha. Something more than friends. She was his teammate. No matter the time, that was the truth.

When he touched the threshold of the portal he lost feeling in his hand. It wasn't numbness, it was worse than the phantom feeling he had when he lost his arm. It was like his hand was simply gone. He was only able to stop by the time he stopped half his arm was already lost to it. He looked to Sakura, she was intact, floating along a long tunnel of nothing that extended all the way towards Konoha. Unmoving, face still stuck in a cross between shock and joy.

He tried to pull away. He tried to escape it. But the pull was as sure as the passage of time. Panic raced over him. He didn't want to go. He wanted to stay. "Madara!" he twisted, to turn her way. His foot was gone too now. "I'm stuck! Help! I can't get out!"

"You idiot!" She grabbed for him, desperately trying to pull him away. All she did was pop a few joints. "Why would you try to save her! You idiot! Idiot!"

"I'm sorry, she's my teammate. I just did." He couldn't move his arm anymore, it was nearly up to his shoulder, and his left knee was inside the tear as well. "I'm sorry I wanted to stay! I should have said so! I'm so stupid!"

"You're not going to leave me!" she screamed, drawing her Katana. Tears flowing down her eyes, that carefully laid persona she had forged for her enemies and allies alike was thrown to the side. Her breathing was heavy, and her face was growing red. "I won't let you! I need you Naruto! I need you!"

She breathed looking at her sword, then to his arm. "We can find a healer."

"Do it." He lived without his arm before, what was a leg too?

Her sword broke against his sleeve, the material wasn't even disturbed. That wasn't a good sign.

"No!" She screamed hands flying through a series of hand signs. White hot flames that roared like thunder erupted from her mouth aimed at the portal. "I won't let you take him! He's mine! Give him to me!"

His torso was being swallowed up by the portal now. Far too much to cut off.

"You're mine dammit!" Madara flew to him, kissing him desperately. "I command you! Stay! You belong here with me!"

"I'm sorry Madara." He smiled, he hated goodbyes. And how hallow that sounded. He needed something with more meaning. Sorry did not fix a broken heart. "I love you."

"I know." She growled, holding his face, every emotion was shown on her face, rage, fear, happiness, sadness, and tears streaked her face. Her hand left his cheek for just a moment. "That's why I'm coming with you."

She placed her hand against the portal, but nothing happened. She was stopped by whatever barrier had once been there. "What? No! Take me! Dammit!"

With a scream that broke his heart, she threw herself at the barrier, beating kicking and screaming at it. "No! Screw you Sakura! This is your fault!" She kicked, punched, and screamed. Each blow only injuring her more. Her fist twisted in unusual ways, broken fingers snapped.

"I love you," He repeated one last time, feeling tears fall from his eyes. His head was swallowed by the portal, he could no longer move, not so much as blink. But he could see and hear her cry. Only his other hand remained free.

She grabbed it holding onto it for dear life, rubbing against it for dear life. "I will kill every single Haruno I find. I will burn this world to the ground if I have to to make sure that she is never born."

Her threat was empty. He could see it in her eyes. She was sadder than she was angry. Sad enough that she didn't so much as flinch when Hashirama pulled her into a hug. Instead, she cried into his chest, making a face he never wanted to see on anyone. Pure heartbreak.

He wanted to go back. He wanted to be the one to hold her. He wanted to never let go of her again. But he couldn't. This wasn't what he wanted when he wanted the choice to be made for him.

Air filled his lungs and he was dropped onto a dirt road, warmed by foot travel and the sun. His body lurched forward, scrambling towards the portal that had spat him out. It shrinking by the second. "No! Dammit!" His voice broke. Hand slipping through the crack before it vanished completely. "Send me back dammit!"

"I want to go back! I don't want to live without her!" He clutched his head letting the tears fall freely. Had he ever cried like this before? When Jiraiya died perhaps but there was anger in that sadness. This was just an empty hollow feeling. "Dammit."

"Naruto," He felt Sakura's hand fall onto his shoulder, she was going to say something that wasn't going to help wasn't she. It was in the tone of her voice. Something about other love or, fish in the sea or something stupid like that. "I'm sorry Naruto. I know it must…" She stopped her hand tightened around his robe. "Naruto, I need you to stop crying right fucking now and look up."

He couldn't.

"Naruto! Please look up and tell me that is not Sasuke's smug ass face on the Hokage Mountain."

He looked up, shock overriding his grief for just a moment, then realization, then anger. "What the fuck is that bastards face doing up there?"

There was no mistaking it. They would knew that too cool for you face anywhere, somehow stoic and made of stone it still managed to piss him off in so many different ways. But it was the position of the head that pissed him off the most.

Instead of Tobirama's stern and judgemental gaze being cast over the village was Sasuke's smug ass face, taunting them. "The bastard was in the past wasn't he?"

"How offended would you be if I punch the mountain?"

Anbu appeared around them, their faces hidden behind masks, but their eyes spoke volumes.

"Intruders," A red-haired woman spoke loud and clear, her Sharingan eyes boring into him trying to expose every secret. "The Hokages would like a word with you."

 **AN: Before you complain, I ask for one simple thing. Trust me.**

 **Also, holy crap this was a long chapter, I wanted to put everything in this chapter but it was already longer than it should have been.**

 **I hope you enjoyed the heartbreak! (No its not over)**


	10. Wait, what the fuck happened?

"Why are you acting like this is my fault?" Sakura asked him as they followed the red-haired Anbu with the Sharingan to the Hokages' office. Konoha, and it could still be called that, was eerily similar to how it used to be, as in the village wasn't built into a giant crater that Nagato had put there after leveling the village the first time. "She kicked me into the portal! Her shoe print is still on my ass!"

He sighed, shooting a glare back at her, one that she shot right back. "Because you were wrong, this isn't our Konoha. Sasuke was the second Hokage, and then there's this Anbu lady leading us, who in case you didn't notice has the Sharingan! Now I'm stuck in a Konoha that isn't home and I'm not with her. So its lose-lose."

If the Anbu cared about their arguing she hadn't said anything in the last five minutes. Hell, he was half certain she was tuning them out, which was impressive.

"What do you want from me?" Sakura crossed her arms for what felt like the hundredth time, her glare was gone but her face was far from pleasant. "To say sorry that I separated you from Madara? Because all I did, was have you open the portal. That's it. I know its hard to accept this right now Naruto. But I do want what's best for you."

"Oh, and what's that?" He spat, and for once she didn't bother to return his glare. No, what she did was much worse. It was a smile, so sincere it was poised to steal all of his anger. This was why he hated arguing with Sakura. Most of the time, she knew exactly what to say, how to say, and be right.

She placed a hand on his arm, his crush was long since gone, but her friendship was still important to him. "I said it already, for you to become the Hokage standing in front of all the people that you worked so hard to get acknowledged by." Her hand slid off him, and that tender smile vanished, knuckle pressed against her forehead. "But I am sorry that we're here. I should have studied the portal more, I thought that since last four Hokage's were the same that meant it was the same. Seeing you there I should have expected that Sasuke was there as well. Somewhere."

The worst part was that he knew she was right. But that didn't mean he had to be happy about it. "That's not what you should be apologizing for."

"Of course not." Her stance relaxed, and her hand found its way to his arm once more. "But I'm not going to apologize for something I didn't do. This heartbreak that you're feeling? That sense of betrayl that's eating away at your heart right now? I've felt that feeling. And I know that you're blaming me for everything right now, but I just want to let you know that I'm your friend and like it or not I'm here for you."

"Can you stop being right? It's pissing me off."

She just smiled, trying to cover up the fact that she wasn't taking any of this well either.

The Anbu opened a door, the exact same door that used to lead to the Hokage building before it was destroyed. They followed after her red hair that popped like blood on a white shirt, and into the Hokages' office.

It was the same, yet different. The view was still the same, the plants were different, and there was more stuff on the walls, but the desk was still the same. And lining the walls were paintings of each of the Hokage's Sasuke's smug ass face looked far to smug to be on that wall and he wanted to Rasengan it into nothing. Judging by how Sakura was squeezing his arm she probably wanted to do the same.

But that Sasuke looked different, his hair no longer fell over his left eye, and he no longer had the Rinnegan. It was still the Bastard.

They were not alone either, two figures waited for them in the room. A man, dressed in shinobi attire but wearing the Hokage's hat. And a woman staring out the woman with red hair that looked so familiar.

"Oh, our 'guests' are here." The man behind the desk was Kakashi, there was no mistaking that, he had the same lazy look, the same drawl. But something was off, that scar on his left eye was gone. "How did they act?"

"They argued like a married couple the whole way here and kept referring to the Second Hokage as a" The red-haired snitch coughed into her hand. "A 'Bastard'"

He wasn't just a bastard, he was the Bastard, anything else just didn't do him justice.

"Just like my grandfather said they would." The woman turned, and he recognized that woman anywhere.

"Granny? Why'd you dye your hair red?" He asked pointing towards Tsunade. It was Tsunade, of that there was no doubt, it looked exactly like her, she even had the same diamond thing! Only her hair and eyes were different.

Tsunade groaned, clenching her fist and glaring at him. "He was also right that I'd want to punch the blonde brat. He's almost as bad as the first Hokage."

"Umm, Master," Sakura asked taking a step forward and bowing slightly. "I'm almost afraid to ask, but who's your grandfather?"

"The second Hokage, of course, Sasuke Uchiha." Tsunade bristled with pride, holding her mighty chest high.

"Of course it is." Sakura sighed, feeling the same dread that he was. Sakura looked ready to scream loudly. Something he felt sympathetic towards. "Let me guess he met your grandmother because he fell into her bathtub?"

"Hot spring actually." Tsunade blinked, her stance relaxing. "But we're not here to talk about my grandfather's love life. We're here to talk about you two." She turned towards Kakashi. "Bottom right drawer, towards the back my grandfather left some scrolls in there for these two."

"Are you going to explain what's going on or am I just going to have to accept this as random Uchiha, or Uzumaki bullshit?" Despite his protest, he did reach into the desk and began to fish out some scrolls. All of them looked really old. There was a black one, two blue ones, and two pink ones. "You know I was wondering what these were."

"Long story short, these two are friends of my grandfather and they're time travelers that went back in time, then forward in time, and now they're here in a present that they don't exist in because my grandfather changed it." Tsunade shrugged letting out a sigh. "Honestly I thought that he was messing with me. But here I am looking at Naruto and Sakura."

"Right, I'll file this under Uchiha bullshit."

"So what exactly did that Bastard change?" He crossed his arms glaring at the scrolls, then back at the smug picture of the Bastard, Bastard technically became the Hokage before him! He wanted to go back in time just to punch him in the face. And then kiss Madara.

"No idea, go read a history book." Tsunade waved him off, "Kakashi, please read the black scroll, it might explain something. I think the other ones are for them."

Kakashi nodded unfurling the black scroll. "Right then let's see here, oh it looks rather short, makes sense, lord second was known for keeping things short." Kakashi coughed into his hand. "Dear, Loser and Sakura." He blinked, then again, and then looked up at them. "His words, not mine."

"It's fine," Sakura sighed. "We're used to it. Doesn't mean I don't want to punch him though."

"Fair." Kakashi righted himself once more. "Alright, so where were we. 'Incase I need to spell it out for you I went to the past as well. I was actually shocked, that you two were as well, but since I was stranded here, I decided to fix some things. I also fell in love and started a family. One of the largest changes was bringing the Uzumaki clan fully into Konoha and strengthening the bonds between the Uzumaki and Uchiha clans."

That explained all the redheads with the Sharingan.

"To simplify my major changes, I brought about a lasting world peace, introduced a dual Hokage system, quelled most of the Bijuu, defeated the Zetsu, and resealed Kaguya again, check up on that in thirty years. I also did a lot to make certain that you two wouldn't be born so we didn't get another time paradox. Included with this scroll are two scrolls for both of you. The blue is for Naruto and the pink are for Sakura, I color coded them so you two wouldn't get confused."

Kakashi rolled the scroll back up. "Best wishes, and try not to fuck up my village. Sasuke Uchiha."

"That!" Sakura screamed stomping her foot hard enough to make the bookshelf shake. Her hands were grasping at a neck that wasn't there. He'd rarely seen her this mad before. And for once it wasn't his fault. "That! Bastard!"

Tsunade took a step forward. "I understand this is a lot to take in, but you are my grandfather's friends, and members of Konoha, we'll do what we can, within reason, to help accommodate you, and I hope that soon you will come to accept this Konoha as your home."

"What about Madara? What happened to Madara? And the Fourth Hokage, Minato? What about him? And Jiraiya!" If Sasuke fixed all this stuff just so the Uchiha wouldn't die, maybe he left his parents alive too. Please. Let the Bastard be at least slightly human for once in his life.

"Well, my ex-husband is currently drinking and whoring himself to an early grave." Tsunade's face turned into a sneer as she crossed her arms.

"Ex? I don't remember the second divorce." Kakashi looked over to his fellow Hokage.

Tsunade sighed, "It's a spiritual divorce. As for Minato, he isn't here."

"So he's dead?" His voice cracked. What about his mother? Kushina? It made sense, Kakashi and Tsunade wouldn't be the Hokage if he was still around.

"What? No, let me finish before you jump to conclusions brat." Tsunade rolled her eyes. "Minato is out on a diplomatic mission, he should be back soon." Just how many Hokage were there? "Why, is he important to you? You kind of look like him."

"Oh well, he's kind of was my dad, or at least maybe?" This time travel stuff was starting to make his head hurt. Still, both Jiraiya and his dad were alive! That was great news!

"As for Madara was it? I don't recall anything about a Madara." Tsunade tapped her chin. "But there are a lot of villagers in the village, do they have a clan name?"

Oh. The happiness did not mix well with the loss. It was like a hole had formed where his heart was and was eating him up. If they didn't know here by name then something must have happened to her, or she went crazy and is in a hole plotting over to take over the world. Or, maybe Sasuke killed her. Or anything really. It was like over one hundred years ago. "No, it's fine, I'll just read a history book or something."

"You alright kid? You look like I just kicked your puppy."

Sakura's hand was on his shoulder again. "He's just going through something right now, and all this is a lot to take in. You wouldn't happen to have a place for us to rest and gather our thoughts would you?"

"Understandable." Kakashi stood, walking around the desk to give them their scrolls. "While I am sympathetic to your plight, we do have to think about Konoha as a whole, I can offer you at most two weeks to adjust before you choose to join active duty or find some other calling. But if you're anywhere as great as the Bastard," he nodded towards the painting of Sasuke on the wall. "Then I am honored to have you with us."

"Thank you Kakashi-sensei." Sakura accepted all the scrolls bowing slightly.

"Sensei huh?"

XXXX

He stared up at his ceiling, watching the slowly rotating blade of the fan that didn't so much as squeak. In theory, he should be happy. His dad was alive, his teacher was alive, his mom was probably alive too, the world was at peace, in theory, he had a giant clan, and everything just seemed that much better.

But it was hard to be happy knowing that he wouldn't be able to see her again. Dammit, why'd he have to touch that stupid portal? This was all Sakura's fault. Except it wasn't.

This sucked. He couldn't even be angry! Instead, all he felt was this dull sad emotion that just wouldn't go away. He sighed for what felt like the thousandth time since he arrived at his temporary home and reached over towards one of Sasuke's scrolls, thumbing at the first one.

Might as well see what the Bastard has to say. Once again it was short.

"Dear loser," He already wanted to burn this. "I'm sorry with how things turned out, it would have been a big help to have you with me especially during those early years. And I tried to do things the way you would, which was frequently the stupid way. Anyways, I have fixed Konoha's past, now it's your turn to lead them to a future. So try not to fuck it up. Also, the other scroll is Madara. So be careful."

He threw Sasuke scroll across the room, flailing as he tried to stand, instead he kept tripping over himself as he made for that second scroll. Why didn't he grab this one first? Dumb luck? His heart beat like roaring thunder, deafening him to the silence outside.

What was in here? Closure? Hatred? Love? It was something. Just anything about her would do.

He opened the scroll.

Smoke exploded from it and he dropped it to the ground coughing and waving it a away.

"That damn Uzumaki woman was not lying when she said I'd feel stiff." He knew that voice all to well. When the smoke vanished, he saw Madara, smiling at him, with that same wry smile she often gave him. Everything about her was exactly how he remembered.

"Madara?" he asked, taking a step towards her daring, to reach out and touch her. Her cheek felt warm, and she nudged into him, letting this one tender moment hang in the air until it was ripe. "How?"

"I haven't seen you in months," She smiled reaching out for his face as the distance between them became almost nothing. "I will experience you once more before I explain myself."

It always was hard to argue with her tongue down his throat.

XXXX

Sasuke's note had been a heartfelt list of apologies and going over a bunch of plans that he hadn't been able to implement and his expectations of her. But the other scroll the one from Tobirama was the most unusual one. Mostly because she didn't know Tobirama all that well, certainly not as well as Naruto knew Madara, but the conservative Second Hokage was bound to have something to say to her.

But instead of words when she opened it up, she found it smoking, and that Tobirama would step out of that smoke.

"Tobirama? What are you doing here?" This was the last thing she needed today! More time traveling bullshit.

He stepped forward stretching so that his neck popped, his cheeks were red. "I had Mito Uzumaki seal me into a scroll so that I might keep an eye on Madara."

"Oh, wait does that mean-"

He stopped her stepping forward and grabbing her chin. "But more importantly I wanted to see you again."

Their lips met. And her brain stopped working. She was kissing the second Hokage! Then she was making out with the second Hokage. Why was she letting the second Hokage undress her? Why was she undressing the second Hokage?

Holy crap she was such a repressed hypocrite!

 **AN: See, trust me. Well, atleast I hope you did. Anyways, I hope this chapter made up for last chapter. But for most of you it probably didn't. For the record, this was planned from the start (Well not the start as I wrote the first chapter at like 4 am, and had to figure out a plan later). I know some, if not most, of you were hoping for some warring clans era stuff, or maybe something a bit more epic (We're not done btw) or actiony, but I don't think I really gave away that this would be that kind of fic other than the setting, so sorry for misleading.**

 **We're back on track for the fluff!**

 **Before I forget, and now that that ark has passed. I'd like to talk to you about Sakura. A sizable and vocal chunk of you, really dislike her, or you don't like how I have portrayed her in this fic. Allow me to try to explain why she was here and what her purpose was.**

 **Sakura was the physical manifestation of his conflict between staying with Madara or making an effort to go back to his time. She also offered him a way back. And I know a lot of you disagree, but for most of what she said and how she said it, she was in the right. Her and Naruto didn't belong in that time, and going back to their time was the right choice. Or atleast it should have been if not for Sasuke. But I failed to show this properly in my fic. So please forgive me for portraying Sakura badly.**

 **Until next time ~ Yoji.**


	11. Seduction, Sex, and Shopping

"So, uh," His mouth was dry, and blood still dripped from where she dragged her nails along his back as though to remind him even when he was on top, she was in control. His neck was a collage of bites and hickies that only a turtleneck could hide and only just. But, beyond that, he was spent in the best possible way. Madara, as always was insatiable, but this time she came at him with a hunger that made all their other sessions seem like a kiss on the cheek.

The clock said that it was seven - they started at five - but the sun was rising. Aside from the soreness and desperate need to rehydrate and eat he felt great.

The soft curve of her ass glistened in the early morning light that managed to worm its way into his temporary residence, she was something else as she stretched, her lithe beauty on full display, hair damp from sweat and other natural oils. But as always it was that small smile she wore that dragged his eyes away from her bare beauty - though he did linger on every curve. "I know my ass hinders your ability to speak, but I desire to hear you after so many months."

"Months?" He asked sitting up, her finger on his chin and the smile on her face stopped him. She purred softly, kissing him, her body snaking around him once more into that oh so wonderful embrace that was becoming an addiction to him. He found a new source of vitality where there shouldn't have been one and was ready to go again. "What happened? Why are you here? What about your clan?"

Her hands burned along his skin, somehow she was always so warm, like a fire always hungering for more of him, ready to devour him if he let her. And it was oh so tempting to just surrender himself to her. But fighting back was part of the fun. She gasped when he entered her, as to how either of them were going to walk today was lost to him. The spark of passion in her eyes grew into an inferno.

"When," she hummed, hips rolling like the ocean at storm. "When you fell into that portal, and I threw myself at it trying to go after you." she kissed him again, and again as though to make up for that lost time that separated them, as though to say that she was sorry, as though to say so many things that words could not. "I knew that I would choose you over my clan."

"For five months," She guided his hand to her breast, forcing him to grab at her delightful mounds that had a firm bounce to them. "For five months, I desired a touch I could not have, a voice I could not hear, everything I desired was robbed at me." Even as she moved against him, coercing him into a fit of groans and grunts. "Then, then, I met your friend. Sasuke. In him, I found someone that I could trust. I could entrust my clan to him."

"Could we please not talk about Sasuke while we're having sex?"

She laughed, pushing some of her hair out of the way and kissing him once more. "As to how I ended up here, I said this did I not? Your friend's lover- the Uzumaki woman - Mito. When the Uzumaki joined us at Konoha, they bonded with both the Senju and Uchiha, I could see it blending, our three clans becoming irrevocably entangled. I asked her to find a way to seal me so that I might see you again. And so,"

"Here you are," He held her close, kissing her deeply. "I'm happy you're with me."

She moaned, shuddering and melting down onto him, her strength vanishing under the waves of pleasure that were washing between them. "I missed you so much." she kissed him again, this one was simple. "I love you."

"I love you too." He grunted, cumming inside her for what had to be at least the seventh time since he stepped into this apartment. He fell back down onto the bed even as she stood, and stretched once more. How was she still standing! Gah! He needed to leave her exhausted just once in their life otherwise he'd have failed as a man. But not today. Maybe in like a week. Or if he took her to like a vacation or something. Yea, good plan.

"Now then, where is the bath? I must admit I am looking forward to experiencing this future, particularly this Ichiruka ramen you mentioned."

Wait, Madara didn't know how to shower. Well she knew how to bath, but she was used to rivers and stuff. That meant he could show her how to use it. Which meant touching more of her naked body. Great, now he was hungry and hard again. "Here, let me show you how to use a shower."

XXXX

Apparently, Sasuke had also set both of them up with a bank account that had been recurring interest for a number of years so that for once in his life he actually had money. Enough money to not have to worry about it for a while. But Madara was loaded. While she had given up her role as clan leader, much of the clan lived on lands that were owned in her name.

And that meant, a lot of rent money. A lot.

Which was why instead of going to go get ramen immediately he was sitting in some brand new ninja clothes that fit well and basically looked like his old outfit, waiting for Madara to finish her trying on clothes.

"Who did these clothes used to belong to? Their body matches mine nearly perfectly." She asked him from beyond the curtain of the dressing room. For once she seemed to have a bit of modesty, leaving him outside while she tried on clothes. She really didn't seem like the type.

He smiled resting his head against the wall behind him, a bag of stuff already nestled between his legs as though he was guarding it like a treasure. No doubt there would be many more bags to come. Hopefully, they ate soon. "They're new clothes, made somewhere else."

"But they did not even take my size! And they fit so well! And they're already made! The future is amazing!"

If it wasn't shopping it might have been adorable. Okay, even then it was pretty damn adorable.

"But what is the purpose of this frilly piece of fabric? It barely covers anything. I'm beginning to doubt much of this is for protection." Her hand came out from the curtains pinching a frilly pair of black underwear and a matching bra. One of the other shoppers, a woman with blond hair that he did not recognize looked at him with one eyebrow raised.

But he didn't care. Madara was buying lingerie, how the hell did he miss that? More importantly, why was he explaining to her what underwear was? "That's sexy underwear Madara, it's you wear it under your clothes so that when you take your clothes off you look sexy."

At least, that's what he thought they were.

"What? Nonsense, how could clothes make me anymo- Oh," She paused, only her footsteps gave any clue that she was spinning around in front of the mirrors examining herself. "I see."

"Yep," he let the P pop, as he readjusted the bag so that no one could see his erection.

She laughed a soft chuckle that she often did when she was amused by his suffering in one way or another. "Do not pout, for these shall largely be to your benefit." Another pause followed by a snap. "Especially as you remove these with your teeth."

The girl that was working at the story, a squirrelly looking brunette turned crimson and tried to hide behind the counter.

For being a legendary ninja she really was clueless to the modern world. Not that he was much better, there were a few things that he didn't understand, such as those blue rough feeling pants that were called Jeans, the fondness of tight fitting shirts for both men and women. But hey, it was still Konoha. Just slightly different from one that he was from. Besides, there were still so many people that he needed to see again.

Like -

The curtain opened, and Madara stepped out, she looked like a completely different woman. At first, he thought that he had just sentenced some poor beautiful woman to death with how his mouth dropped to the floor in half a heartbeat, his brain no longer connected to the rest of his body as his heart, eyes, and penis took over the majority of processes.

Her long black hair was pulled back into a pony-tail., and her eyes were obscured by a pair of red-framed sunglasses he did not remember her grabbing. He vaguely recognized her top as one that she grabbed but it looked so different than how he thought it would. It was a white top, that didn't fit so much as hung over her lithe frame, making the curve of her breasts more pronounced but still drawing attention to the exposed curve of her waist. It was her pants, that blew him out of the water. They were those jean things. And a realization of why they were so popular sprung up in his mind.

"So, how do I look, the shop girl said that this was in fashion."

He opened his mouth, trying to find a reply that wasn't stupid. Not finding one his mouth defaulted to the first thing he could think. "Those make your ass look amazing."

"I thought so too." She twisted so that he had a better view of her ass once more. How! He didn't understand how they were doing that! With one hand on her hip she readjusted her sunglasses, she already looked like she belonged in this time, and as always her sword was still at her hip. "Though I doubt I'll be able to fight in these, the pockets are useless. Still, nothing wrong with owning town clothes."

He should probably explain to her that she was far more likely to be wearing town clothes than her ninja gear. Or she could just do what he did and wear his ninja gear as normal clothes. Especially if he was going to be the Hokage in this Konoha.

She dumped a pile of clothes into his lap, her old robes included among them. "Here, purchase these, and then we shall go get food. The Ichiruka is near correct?"

"Yep!" finally a chance for food! Real wholesome food that was a gift from the gods and not some shallow imitation of it! In a flash, he paid for her clothes, with some of her money and was out the door shouldering a half dozen bags filled with clothes, five of which were hers and one for him. His apartment would not contain all this.

He was three steps out the door before it all came crashing down.

"Ouch! Watch where you're going! You could hurt someone ya'know!"

He was half covered by clothes, but even without looking he knew that voice. He knew who it belonged to, he only heard it for a few moments of his life but it was ingrained into his very soul. It was, "Mom?"

"What?" Kushina stood up, looking exactly how he remembered her looking, which considering how she was supposed to be dead, and at least in her forties by this point was beyond amazing. "Look, I mean you're about that age and you kind of look like Minato, but I have a daughter, and just a daughter, mostly because of her fat head kind of." she gestured with her hand like she was shooing a dog away in a dramatic fashion. "Oh, wait, you don't need to know that, I guess that's what Mikoto means when she says I talk too much without thinking. Anyways, nice to bump into, Minato-look-alike."

"Wait!" He scrambled up to look her in the eye. "This is going to sound really crazy and probably equally stupid, but I'm your son from another timeline and you were dead in my time and I'd still like to get to know you and my name is Naruto Uzumaki."

"Oh." She blinked at him with her purple eyes for a few moments before she smiled and shrugged. Holding up the bag of groceries. "Would you like to join me for dinner then? I'm making ramen."

He was starting to enjoy this Konoha.

 **AN: Kushina was introduced this chapter incase I wanted to do something with her, depends on next chapter, cause having Madara and Kushina interact might be fun. Who knows! I know where I'm going to end this series, but this extra stuff here is so that I don't have a "Rushed" ending again. Anyways, I hope you all enjoyed this chapter.  
**  
 **And please, if you're no longer interested in this story I don't want to hear it, just like leave, all you're doing is making me upset.**


	12. God Dammit Tayuya!

"Are you not a little too accepting of this fact?" Madara stepped forward handing him the majority of the bags he had dropped moments ago. Did she really catch them all? Why was she so fast? It was kind of hot in a way. Well in a lot of ways. Still, her face was a deep scowl, and her hand rested on her sword, fingers dancing along the hilt.

He really should remind her that murder was illegal.

Kushina snorted like she didn't see the obvious threat and barbs in Madara's words waving her off like it was no big deal between such close friends. "Oh please, this isn't even the weirdest thing I've been told this week! Like really ya'know, this doesn't beat my daughter coming home and told me she eloped with her girlfriend that I didn't even know about," Kushina sighed hand on her cheek, "Still haven't told Minato about it. Besides, this is probably just about the right amount of weird for a Tuesday though."

"It's Thursday." He corrected - unless Sasuke fucked up the days of the weeks somehow - placing a few more bits of Madara's clothes back into her bags. He really should make a clone and send these off.

"It is?" Kushina's eyes went wide and she counted on her hand. "Ohh, well that just makes things even less weird, but umm who are you anyways? Are you my son's girlfriend? I can call you my son right? And rely on you to give me a grandchild to spoil?" The last bit was said so low he doubted that she even said it. She stuck her hand out towards Madara, the groceries on her arm sliding towards her elbow. "No pressure of course, but anyways, hello! I'm Kushina."

"I will not ask this again, why are you so accepting of this situation?" Madara glared at the hand like it was a weapon leveled at her. "Answer me honestly or else I will not allow you to see our children once I bear them."

"Wait, children?" Where did this come from?

Kushina sighed. "Well let's see here I can sense that there's a giant fury asshole inside of him, he looks a lot like Minato, I felt a connection with him, he also wasn't lying. And there was something else," She tapped on her chin, swaying as she began to walk. "Oh right! Minato told me about him!"

"He did? I didn't meet him yet, I've only been here for a day." He wanted to meet his dad, and he was still having problems figuring out why there were so many Hokage. It didn't make any sense.

"Oh, what was the place? Uhh in the land of wind? Roran?" Kushina snapped her fingers, still walking forward nodding to herself. "Yea! Roran! That's the place! He said that he met you there and you helped him fight some bad guy, I know because he came home gushing about how awesome our son was, and I was sitting there wondering when I got pregnant and who thought that Naruto was a good name. I mean, it suits you now that I read that perverts book and stuff, but big surprise when I plop out my little Naruko."

"You've time traveled before?" Madara's gaze was on him now, "How many times have you gone to the past and come back?"

"It kind of slipped my mind." He also didn't think that was canon or not.

"See I told you! The second you said your name and all that other stuff I knew you were telling the truth! So you can call me mom okay?" She spun, still keeping pace even when walking backward's, "that goes for you too, one who will bare my son's children!" She squealed stamping her feet and biting her lip. "Ahh, I'm so excited! Oh and Minato's going to be so happy! He should be home tonight, especially if its Thursday. He should be home!"

She gasped, spinning around once again, her smile was bright and filled with joy. "This is going to be a great family dinner! Ahh, I'm so excited!"

"Yea!" A family dinner! With his mom, dad, a sister he didn't know he had that eloped - whatever that meant - and his girlfriend/lover/whatever the hell she wanted to call herself Madara!

"I'm beginning to see the family resemblance." Madara matched his pace, the glare and scowl she had moments ago was gone replaced with that same soft look in her eyes and smile she only showed him. In her fashionable outfit, Madara looked like she was made for this time period, with the only thing being out of place was the sword on her hip.

"She will make an excellent grandmother for our children," Madara continued walking, even as he stood there in a half-stunned state.

"Children?"

XXXX

"So, tell me, Madara, how is it that you met Naruto?"

"I was bathing myself in the river and he splashed in front of me, I threatened to kill him, unless he explained himself."

"Oh my, how romantic! Now now, I just have to ask, how did you fall in love with him?"

"I was the leader of my clan, everybody in the world feared me or respected me, to them I was a god, an enemy, or someone to try and use." Madara didn't so much as blink as she peeled away at whatever vegetable Kushina had tasked her with like she was simply listing facts. "He was the only one to make me feel like I was human, the only one that challenged me and showed me the path I had been seeking for years." He could all but hear her grin as she began to dice the vegetable. "That and he's fantastic in bed."

Giggling - Kushina's - came out from the kitchen.

He blushed, scanning the dining room of his parents home once more. It was pretty much how he imagined it, but while it wasn't exactly the same house that he saw when he and Sakura went into a different dimension, it was pretty close on the inside, but instead of an emo version of himself called 'Menma' in the photos was a girl with long blonde hair, she didn't look like his sexy jutsu - the proportions were wrong - but it basically was the female version of himself called Naruko.

Apparently, she was born on July Seventh, which made her his big sister? Assuming she wanted a brother. This was weird. Weirder than the time he found out Karin was his cousin. What was he even supposed to say? 'Hi I'm technically you if mom and dad got it busy a few months later?'

"So," His mother's voice drifted out from the kitchen as he placed yet another dish in the right spot. Why was he kicked out of the kitchen? "How long have you two been a couple?"

"That would depend on who you ask." He heard Madara's pause followed by her knife being laid down. "To him, it's been but a week, with little more than a few hours seperating our departure and reunion."

"And to you?" The joy in his mother's voice was gone and everything fell silent as though the world was waiting to hear Madara's answer.

"For me," There was that pause again. "For me, it was an hour of fury, a day of remorse, a week of regret, and nearly half a year of trying to find some way to see him again. It was only thanks to Sasuke and that Uzumaki woman Mito that I was able to be reunited with him once more."

Crap, really? Guess he really was just taking everything for granted. She really did give up a lot to come here and be with him. He was going to make it up to her! Somehow.

"But that is enough about this, I am with him once more and I find myself able to smile once more. Now tell me, how does that device operate?"

"Ehh?" Kushina made a confused sound that rung in his ears. "The rice cooker? You really are from the past! Allow me to show you the wonderful world of the modern kitchen!"

Wonder if she forgot about him cooking most of their meals?

"Fairly well, but I'm afraid it will be of little use, I have informed Naruto that he will be the one cooking most of our meals, his ramen is wonderful."

He really shouldn't get his hopes up.

As Madara and Kushina continued to talk about seemingly nothing, he finished the kitchen table, there was only four places to set, one for him, another for Madara, and one for Kushina, and one for Minato who she was adamant was going to be there.

The air buzzed for the fraction of a second and an odd shaped Kunai that hung on the wall swayed, then there was a flash. And he stood there. Long spiky blonde hair, blue eyes that were so similar to his own, a flamboyant open robe licked by flames worn over the standard jounin outfit. It was Minato Namikaze.

"Oh," He blinked looking around as though to make sure he was at the right place, "Uhh, hello, who are you?" A cold smile that could rival Madara's murderous scowl took over his face, and a Kunai was being spun on a finger. "If your answer is that you're my baby girls boyfriend you better start running."

"Oh, umm, I'm Naruto, I'm technically your son from another timeline." Eventually, this will stop being weird and awkward. He shrugged offering up a smile, "Apparently we met before in Roran?"

"Oh! Oh oh oh! That's you! Ha! I knew I wasn't crazy! Kushina called me crazy for a month after that! But then she was upset that you weren't born, not that we don't love our daughter but we were both kind of expecting a boy, and well, you." Minato gestured at him, now smiling proudly. "Well, I assume you ran into your mother, wait, you are biologically our son right? And not just spiritually?"

"Uhh I think so, I mean I met you again, well your soul, when you got brought back to life, and Mom was also sealed inside me for a bit with the Kyuubi, so uhh yeah! I'm pretty sure!" He had the weirdest relationship with his parents ever. He stuck his hand out, Minato did not hesitate to take it. "It's an honor to meet you again."

"Likewise, while I am eager to get to know you more, and you know validate that I'm not insane, I'd like to see my wife." Minato shook his hand briefly and even pulled him into a one arm hug. "To be honest I was a little worried you were Naruko's boyfriend or something, I didn't want to commit murder today."

"Don't worry I'm already taken, my girlfriend is in there with mom."

"Mom? Hah, is she threatening you with adoption?" Minato offered him a wink and slid past into the kitchen. "Honey! I'm home!"

He followed after him mostly to make sure that Madara was well received. Once he got in there Madara was at his side in a heartbeat, her wet hand reaching for his. "Your mother is pleasant enough, reminds me of Mito, your father seems strong as well."

"I'm glad you like them?"

"It further proves that our line will be strong."

Right their line. "You know before we have children we're going to have to get married correct?"

Madara nodded, her hand squeezing his all the tighter. "My answer is yes, but if you take to long to ask the question I will rob that right from you."

Was that a proposal? "Uhh, let's have things settle down before things get crazy alri-"

"What do you mean she eloped!" Minato yelled, his face red with anger, he spun grabbing his kunai. "Naruto, you're going to help me bury this Tayuya!"

"Wait, what?" Why did that name sound familiar?"

Kushina snorted, grabbing at her husband's arm. "Minato Tayuya is a girl."

"Then who did my baby girl elope with?"

Oh, so this was how it was going to go down.

"Tayuya," Kushina was attempting to hold back a laugh and failing. "And yes Tayuya is still a girl. Our daughter eloped with a girl."

"I," The anger drained from him and he dropped his kunai to the ground, eye twitching. "I. I what?"

Despite this, dinner with most of his family was nice.

 **AN: So, uhh no pressure, but this fic is less than 20 reviews from breaching that 1k mark. (Suck it to the person that said that because Sakura was in this fic it wasn't going to reach 1k reviews). Also I hope you all enjoyed this chapter, and sorry for the long time between updates, I kind of finished Nano and then stoped writing for a few days. I'm also like 40 followers away from 2k followers on this story so lets do it!**

 **There might be a bit more Minato and Kushina (Naruko is going to be offstage and mentioned only, largely because I think actually adding in Tayuya would not be what this story needs) The focus is still going to be on Madara and Naruto and I'm actually nearing the end (technically this chapter and last chapter have been part of my "epilogue" with most of the acutal story resolved, just a few more scenes I need to write)**


	13. The Fuck do you mean?

Life in this Konoha wasn't all that different from the old one. He went on missions, fought bad guys, saved a village every so often, often getting in more trouble than he needed to only for everything to fix everything else. He also learned a whole lot from his mother and father, such as why him learning the Flying Thunder God Jutsu would be a bad idea.

Math, the answer was math. No amount of chakra could solve a math problem. Well he could summon a toad to do it for him, but that's not exactly helpful when he's trying to do some kind of mental math that revolved the speed of light, and like three different letters and some weird squiggly symbol that he didn't even know what it was called just to not end up inside of a tree was not something that was practical.

But he got to show his dad how to add an element the Rasengan so that was awesome!

He also found out why there were so many people walking around with the Hokage title. The answer was so simple that if it was a snake… well, technically it was a snake, just a snake that he knew all too well. Sasuke. It was all Sasuke's fault. Somehow the bastard had managed to change the way Konoha worked so that there could be multiple Hokage.

Originally it was designed to give the multiple clans representation, and while that was still the idea, it eventually just evolved into a council type thing where there were up to three Hokage's at any given time with one acting as a foreign diplomat. And Tsunade was planning on retiring soon, and if he kept doing missions, and proving himself he'd probably be the next person in line.

Mostly because as Tsunade said it, nobody else was dumb enough to take the job.

There was just one thing on his list that he had been putting off since he got here.

He stared at the bar, the pungent scent of booze bellowing out into the street so thick he could almost see it. It wasn't a seedy or shady bar, but it wasn't one of the fancy ones, it was just a run of the mill place that hired pretty girls to serve the customers. Which made it the perfect place to find Jiraiya.

That and he could hear the loud belly laugh that his sensei was known for coming from inside the building, often followed by a shriek then a giggle from a whatever poor barmaid was entertaining him. Wasn't he married to Tsunade? Didn't he have grandkids?

"Guess somethings really don't change," He couldn't help but laugh scratching the back of his head. Truthfully he'd been putting this off since he realized that Jiraiya would be alive, and he hadn't accidentally bumped into the man as he did with his mother, so this was probably long overdue. Like what the hell was he supposed to say.

Welp, better late than never, heh, that was probably what Jiraiya thought when he first started looking over his training.

He stepped into the threshold and found his sensei almost instantly in the sparsely populated afternoon crowd. Jiraiya sat with a pair of bar floozies that were showing off a lot of cleavage and kept touching the old man. They were all actors, them pretending to be interesting in him, and him pretending that he didn't know better.

Or at least that's what he used to think, but Jiraiya was something else, he could walk into any bar and be treated like an old regular knowing everybody's name and stories. Jiraiya wasn't just another actor in the play he was the director, writer, and lead.

He walked up to the table where his master sat laughing with two girls that were giving his sensei so much attention they had none to spare him. For what seemed like a life time he stared at the man as he paid him no mine, there was no doubt that it was Jiraiya, it looked like him, acted like him, dressed like him, certainly smelled like him, even drank like him.

With his parents, he knew they were dead since before he could remember, so he never felt their loss. But with Jiraiya, he felt a loss deeper than any other. And now staring at the man once more, he felt it again.

"Look, I understand seeing a legend like me can cause all sorts of emotions but crying in the middle of a bar is just rude." Jiraiya spun his sake cup, barely looking at him with the corner of his eye.

"Sorry," He sniffed, wiping away the tear that had formed. "It's just been a while."

He had Jiraiya's attention now and the old man took a sip of his drink, scrutinizing him like he was a piece of meat. "You look at bit like my stupid Minato, but I'm fairly certain he has a daughter and although his wife is mildly baby crazy I highly doubt that she'd make a clone just to increase her odds of getting grandchildren."

"Well actually I'm their son from another timeline where they die, I get the Kyuubi sealed inside of me, and then you eventually train me and you die and well.."

"Bahh," Jiraiya shrugged the girls off of him, leaning forward to look into his booze. "I am so not drunk enough to be hallucinating like this, Hell I'm barely even buzzed, wai, ahh fuck, what day is it?"

"Uhh thursday?"

"Fuck," The man collapsed back down into his seat blinking for a few seconds before pouring the bottle directly into his mouth. "Well, now shit makes sense, Might as well sit down and have a few drinks with me. Just promise me you won't try and fix my marriage problems. Or anything weird like that."

He couldn't help but smile and laugh before he sat down. "Something tells me you and Granny get along best with you barely get a long."

"Haha, So you understand! Barely functional is still functional after all. Now then! Let's drink my pupil from another dimension." There was no hesitation as he poured another two cups of sake and downed them himself. "Or timeline, or whatever you want to call it. Wait, let me guess, your name is Menma?"

"Uhh no, it's Naruto."

"Then to your health Naruto!"

Despite everything, Jiraiya managed to drink him out from under the table. Good thing Madara was away on a mission.

XXXX

"Sign this."

Madara tossed the paper so that it landed directly in front of him, the pen following soon after before she turned to rummage through their refrigerator, no doubt looking for a strawberry drink that his mother had exposed her too. Her normally wild hair was loosely contained in a ponytail that bloomed outwards and held up by two pins, they were part of a set - One with an Uzumaki spiral, and the other with the Uchiha symbol - he got her after his first mission was complete.

Sure she scolded him for wasting money and buying worthless trinkets, but since then she had found some way to make sure that she mixed the two in every one of the numerous outfits she was wearing. She looked every bit the modern fashionable shinobi that proliferated the world.

Though she still acted like a primitive barbarian at times as she was always happy to bring her sword out in a conversation. To say she threatened violence if things didn't go her way wasn't exactly accurate, it was just how she… okay, she used the threat of violence, excessively.

Which was probably why her only friends consisted of his mother, and, err, well, him?

"What is it?" He swallowed the bit of ramen that had still been in his mouth, he could have read it but it looked like a long really wordy thing that was for official stuff, that, and his eyes had much better things to look at. Like Madara, and her butt. It wasn't naked, and he'd seen it many many times before, but like ramen, he doubted he would ever get tired of staring at it.

The hiss of a freshly opened soda spread through the room and Madara rose to sip her drink, a soft smile spreading across her face. "Marriage papers, we're eloping."

Oh eloping, well that was just fine, but - "Hey wait! What? So soon? Why now? What happened to shopping with my mother?"

"She signed as the witness." She shrugged walking over to lean onto his shoulder, nuzzling her face into his neck and momentarily making him forget about the extra stuff. But then he remembered that this was marriage, as in that whole lifelong commitment thing, though when it came up around Madara she considered the whole thing nothing more than a formality.

In her eyes despite only knowing each other for about two months, they were something beyond soulmates. And given how he more or less abandoned her for half a year and then she gave up her life in the past to be with him. Besides, he couldn't imagine life without her.

Especially, the sensation of waking up with her in the bed every morning.

"But didn't she want us to have a wedding? She keeps talking about it whenever we have dinner!" Sure, he was being used as a substitute for his run-away technical sister that Eloped with some girl Tayuya, but that was fine, he was just happy to have a family in more ways than one! Shame his more or less sister and uhh more or less sister in law was currently in Uzushiogakure starting a new life.

"She dropped that when we found out I'm pregnant," She took another sip of that strawberry drink that didn't actually taste like strawberries or even smell remotely like the fruit. He looked at his life partner/apparent fiance with wide eyes going between her black eyes then towards her still flat stomach and pausing at her breasts along the way. "Oh, also I'm pregnant."

He blinked, staring at the document for a few more seconds before taking up the pen and signing his name. Madara was pregnant, with his child, and her first action after finding out was to elope with him, instead of telling him that she was pregnant so they could talk about this. And people called him stupid. At least when he fucks up he tells before first before he tries to fix it!

Unless he doesn't know that he fucked up, at which point he was often the last to find out and someone was going to call him stupid.

"So I guess we're married now?" He didn't feel any different. Madara didn't look any different.

The soda rested on the table as Madara began to wrap around him. "Technically once we give them that paper we'll be married, and you'll be Naruto Uchiha, but before we do that, I believe its time to celebrate."

Somehow, her shirt was already on the ground and his pants were already half-way off as she straddled him. Wait, why were his hands tied behind his back? When did that happen? And -

"Wait! What do you mean Naruto Uchiha?"

 **AN: Next chapter is the ending! Thanks for all the support regarding this fic and sorry for the long time between chapters, been having a tought time recently. But I'm fine... mostly! Anyways, see you at the finally!**

Please review!

And if you want, Donate to my Ko-fi account. It's Ko-fi / Yojimbra . Not needed or anything, just appreciated!


	14. The Fuck? It's Fucking OVER?

The sight that greeted most travelers to the land of his ancestors, was the harsh turbulent waters of the narrow sea that separates the island from the mainland. The second sight is the jagged coastline that had been battered by the narrow sea and was choked by a permanent layer of fog that hid the many natural dangers from giant sea serpents to the whirlpools that the island got its namesake from.

The interior of the island was barely better, the climate was like that of the land of fire, warm often too warm, made worse by how humid the entire island was like someone was constantly boiling water under his feet. Lush jungles choked even the highest mountains, they weren't as tall as the trees in Konoha, but they were thicker, and it was impossible to tell where one tree began and another ended. A thick swamp dominated the lowlands, where any number of creatures lurked in the soup like waters.

Everything in the land was so filled with life but so to was it filled with death. Fallen trees fed the next generation of saplings and no island had creatures as adept at murder as the ones that called this island home. From the small cute looking blue and orange frog that he wanted as a pet but just touching it would probably kill him to the tiger that for some reason could use lightning chakra.

It was a far cry from the lifeless land he had seen once in the original timeline. Though that might have been a safer place to go on a family vacation. Not that he should worry considering how at least half of their group was either A Hokage, a future Hokage could have been a Hokage or was trained by the Hokage, with the other half having no less than two Anbu captains and his wife, Madara UZUMAKI-Uchiha.

But the side of the island that few people knew about was something else entirely. A sea of brilliant blue extended out for miles in front of him, waves crashing down upon a beach of pure white sand that was welcoming him home with open arms. Many people often said that the beaches of Uzio were the worst kept secret of the world.

It was a paradise.

"Woohoo!" A streak of brilliant red hair darted out from behind him, a shirt light shirt flying in the air followed quickly by a green floral skirt as his mother jumped and shouted like she was sixteen years old darted for the beach looking like she was barely a day over twenty. She all but danced along the sand spinning around to shout at them. "Hurry up you slow-pokes! I want to kick some butt at volleyball! And sand castle building! And surfing!"

She gasped, hands on her cheeks like she just remembered what she was so excited about. "I haven't gone surfing in ages! Wait! Where's Naruko's shack? Didn't she say it was set up on this beach?"

"It's a little further down honey," his father was the first to follow after her, effortlessly retrieving the clothes she had stripped away. "We were supposed to surprise them remember, but I think that you just told them we're here."

His more or less sister and his more or less sister in law had eloped and moved to Uzio to become beach bums. Apparently, they were successful and now more or less had owned and operated a cozy beach shack.

"Oh right! Come on you guys! Let's go!" Kushina bounced along the beach looking perfectly at home with her red hair blowing in the wind like a banner announcing her arrival.

"Why am I even here?" A grumpy, and annoyed voice grumbled like the crashing waves from behind him.

He turned, seeing a sight that he still wasn't quite too sure how to feel about. It was Jiraiya - with a black eye and looking every bit the perverted beach bum complete with an overly hairy chest exposed - with a hand around Tsunade's waist holding her close - both of them not quite drunk but not quite sober - swaying each one holding a beer.

But the one who spoke was something he never thought he'd see. It was their daughter, Sachiko, a silver-haired beauty that was just as beautiful as Tsunade had been in her youth, and twice as punch happy. And she was only like three years older than him. She was a Bitch with a capital B. But she was also family.

"Cause," Tsunade slurred, "the author doesn't feel like continuing your story right now so you get a cameo in this one."

Sachiko sighed and kept sighing, it was the long drawn out sigh that one had to force out and spoke volumes of displeasure. It was a sigh that he had gotten many times for many different people. "Can you two please not break the fourth wall?"

"Nah," Jiraiya slurred, nuzzling into Tsunade's neck. "The author knows it's not funny but needs filler for the beach episode."

"I hate you both so much." With that, Sachiko walked off in the vague direction that Kushina and Minato had gone.

Madara walked up to him, wearing a revealing black bikini that hugged her body and showed off every delightful curve and a pair of sunglasses with reflective lenses that hid her eyes. But not that small frown that was adorned on her face. In her hands was the ankles of their own blond three-year-old ankle biter Izumi UZUMAKI-Uchiha who was struggling against her mother's grip.

"Here," She handed him his daughter by the ankle, it wasn't that Madara was a bad mother, far from it, she made certain that their child would be an absolutely lethal little murder machine by the time she got to school and taught her many things. But, her natural maternal instincts were more or less limited to killing things that threatened their child.

She turned walking along the beach without so much of another word. No explanation as to why it was his to turn to deal with their daughter, or any hint on as to why she was being handled upside down. It was probably a good thing that Kushina kidnapped her granddaughter on a regular basis for some normal parenting.

"I love you!" He said loudly while staring at her ass following close behind his wife. He wasn't being a pervert, that was just the most natural place for his eyes to rest. Besides, it was also the safest, if he didn't he might accidentally stare at someone else and Madara would murder them if they were female.

It was that reason why Madara did not like Sachiko, and the feeling was mutual.

She turned to him her long raven hair barely disturbed by the wind as a teasing smile graced her lips. "Why is it that you also say that when you look at my ass?" The smile grew again, yep there it was a brand new childhood trauma, man their kid was going to be fucked with a mom like her and a dad like him. "Though I often say I love you when I look at my own ass."

"Is that some clever way of saying that I'm your ass?" He waddled after her, his daughter swaying with each step as she continued to do something upside down in his hands. Why was his child upside down?

"Ahh, once again you continue to surprise me with your ability to learn, it gives me hope for our daughter." She turned once more, walking proudly with an extra bounce in her step, whatever foulness had invaded her mood moments ago was done away with. "Perhaps I might have to reward you later?"

"Mommy-papa sex time?" Izumi asked, flailing to try and look at her mother, tongue sticking out of her tongue. He wasn't quite sure where she learned that phrase, but it wasn't from him. He blamed Madara because she frequently grew quite whenever their daughter asked about their slightly to healthy sex life. "Can stay with gram?"

"Sorry sweety, I think gram-gram and grandpa want some alone time themselves." Probably because Kushina kept comparing this to their honeymoon. And he knew exactly what happened during a honeymoon, sure most of it was a blur and but he had a few scars and couldn't wear leather around his wrists without getting an erection, so he had a pretty good idea.

"Mmmk," Izumi dropped her weight like a sack. Then began to twitch again like she was trying to walk. She stopped, head tilting towards him so that he could see her dark blue eyes. His daughter looked every bit his daughter, while the only thing evident from her mother was her curly hair. "Papa, want down!"

"Kay." He dropped his daughter onto the soft sand.

She made an sound that was close to "Bweh!" and pushed herself up, spitting some sand from her mouth. On second thought he really couldn't complain about Madara's parenting skills. If their child survived it was going to be nothing less than a miracle.

"Dude, what the fuck is wrong with you?" A raspy female voice cut through the crashing waves and excited Kushina noises followed quickly by a slap to the back of his head. What was it about his head that just invited people to hit him in the head? "You can just go around dropping a kid like that! I don't even like the fuckers and I know that."

"Hey look, she's fine, my daughter is-" Fine probably wasn't the best thing to say even if it was the truth. "Enjoying herself, and what's wrong with you hitting-" He turned to see himself staring at a blond haired blue eyed girl with whisker marks on her cheeks.

Both of their mouths fell open. This was weirder than he thought it would be. Like six times weirder than when he met Menma. It was him, just a female version of him.

"I take it you're Naruko?" Well, he was already off to a fantastic start with his more or less twin sister.

"Yes," She groaned pinching the bridge of her nose. "On a scale of you look like me to my mother grew you in a lab because she's a baby obsessed moron how weird is it that you exist?"

"Uhh, where does accidentally time traveling into the past, fucking up the future then traveling forward into the future land on that?" He scratched the back of his head keeping a solid eye on his daughter so she didn't run off and try to pet a tiger that for some reason can use lightning chakra. Again. "Also my name is Naruto and my daughter's name is Izumi."

"Seriously? Naruto? Are you like a dude version of me or something?" He nodded. "Oh thank fuck!" Naruko sighed letting out a laugh and running a hand through her long blonde hair. "At least you're not a fucking clone, clones are creepy. Not like the jutsu but just like a test tube clone. Fuck that shit."

"You say Fuck a lot!" Izumi beamed up at Naruko for all of two seconds before she fell backward into the sand, flapping her arms like she was trying to make a sand angel.

"Sorry," She snorted, a faint blush gracing her cheeks. "My wife kind of rubbed off on me. But anyways, I think I hear Tayuya and my mom fighting, that can't be good." She turned, the several bags of groceries swaying in her hands. "Well, I guess she's our mom? Fuck, I have a fucking brother. Shit, I keep swearing in front of your spawn."

"That was my reaction when I first showed up here. But with like having a family in general." He smiled, offering her a hand. "Want me to take some of those?"

"Sure," she handed him half. "You know I really should thank you, you showing up is probably what stopped my mom from hunting us down and trying to implant one of us with a child. So thanks for satisfying her weird ass desire to have a grandkid."

"Oh, no problem," He laughed, nudging Izumi up off the sand with his foot. "Come on squirt, let's go see if grandma can make you ramen." Again, his daughter was his daughter through and through. He turned to his sister, or whatever she was. "So I take it you don't like kids?"

"Nope, hate the snot-nosed little brats. One of the perks of being a lesbian is that there's no chance in hell of accidentally ending up with one of those." She sidestepped as Izumi ran between them pretending to fly like a seagull. "Yours is kind of cute, but that's probably because she reminds me of me."

"Be careful, she'll corrupt you."

"Ha, unless Tayuya magically grows a dick and balls I'll be-"

"Look!" A shrill voice cracked the peace with a bark that sounded like it took the bite out back and stabbed it to death with a shank and left the body as a message. It was the kind of voice that was easy to remember once he heard it again, and instantly he remembered exactly who Tayuya was. Short, angry, redhead. "I fucking told you she ain't here right now! So quit asking!"

"That would be my wife."

"Just tell me where she is!"

He looked at her a laugh escaping him. "And that would be our mom."

She joined him in laughter nodding in agreement. "I guess I got our dads weird attraction to loud redheads. Whose her mother? It's not Karin is it?"

"No, no, her name's Madara."

XXXX

Volleyball had started off innocent enough. No chakra, just pure physical ability, but, then the girls got competitive and it turned into a war zone where the men took turns watching new craters get blasted into the sand as Tsunade, Sachiko, Kushina, or Madara spiked the ball to hell and back. The only reason why the ball didn't burst was that it had seals on it that made it nearly indestructible. The game ended when Madara received the ball with her sword that he could have sworn she left in Konoha.

Next, there was a sand building contest. Izumi won with a pile of sand that had a starfish on top because the other girls instantly began to wage sand people wars. By this point, most of the men and lesbians had taken to sitting back and watching the show.

Then came the surfing competition. Tsunade and Sachiko crashed quickly. His mother shredded like she had been born on the water. At least that's what he thought. Then Madara grabbed a board and put her to shame, riding a large wave with as much skill and grace as she had with handling a blade, a twisting twirling goddess of death.

Before they knew it the sun was setting and their first day on the beach was coming to a close.

Madara sat next to him, her head resting on his shoulder with her hand on top of his. The moon barely kissing the starlit sea. If either one of them were romantic the scene might have set a mood or something. "Hey, Naruto."

"Yea?" He asked, leaning against her head and feeling her long drawn-out sigh, that told him all he'd ever need to know. She was happy, beyond happy. And he felt the same way.

"I love you."

"I know, I love you too."

"Meeting you was the best thing to ever happen to me."

"I feel the same." He smiled thumb over her hand. Even with all the bullshit that happened and all the changes made to the timeline with only Sakura- wait. Weren't they supposed to be here. "You did remember to tell Sakura and Tobirama where we were going right?"

"I remembered to tell them," She smiled, "whether or not they believed me is a different story."

 **The End**

 **AN: Thank you all for making this my most popular fic of all time, when I first started writing Fanfiction in general I never thought I'd be able to get 1k followers, but now here I am with a fic that has over 2k followers and 1k reviews. (And for so few words as well) I'm really happy with how this fic turned out, especially since I started writing it 4 am and drunk with no plan. There are a few parts I could have done a better jobs of showing, but overall it was positive.**

 **I know a lot of you feel differently about some choices I made during this fic, but I still hope that you enjoyed it. And please give some of my other fics a try.**

 **Also, now for the less fun part. I'm going to be taking a long break from Naruto Fanfiction. Partially because I've burned myself out on the fandom, partially because I've ran out of girls that I want to pair Naruto with, and partially because I enjoy My hero acadamia fics a lot more. But, also because I want to try writing some original fiction. I told myself that if I ever got 2k followers on a story that I'd try to write something original, because maybe, just maybe that I might be able to do something decent.**

 **As for what the future holds. Mostly My Hero Aca fics, if you read those as well give mine a shot, they're pretty standard Yoji stories. When I return to Naruto (Well hopefully this is just a vacation and not a retirement) I'll probably try to return to Perverts and Blondes, or start a new Female Kyuubi fic or a Naruto x Mito story, but that's a ways out.**

 **To those that are only here for my Naruto fics. Thank you for the support, and I'll see you next time!**

 **If you enjoyed this fic, and want to help a starving author feel free to donate to my Ko - fi Ko - fi / yojimbra Or not, up to you.  
**


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